The Ache of a Momma’s Heart
Recently I came across a verse that hit deeply and made me pause. The words were directed to Mary, the brand new mother of the infant Jesus, from Simeon, a priest in the Temple in Jerusalem, when he met and held the newborn Messiah.
“This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” (emphasis added) Luke 2:34-35
Simeon’s words were prophetic and held deep meaning as well as the promise of pain to a mother’s heart. “And a sword will pierce your own soul, too.” Can you imagine hearing that as you hold your week-old baby?
It was a harbinger of what Mary would face as the mother of the Messiah, destined to give His life on the cross, though she likely didn’t comprehend the devastating pain that would come. Jesus would be falsely accused, plotted against, betrayed, beaten, mocked, and then crucified. The many who swore their allegiance would turn away. Those that professed their love for Him would cool and grow indifferent. The sword that ultimately pierced His side would, in effect, pierce the very soul of the mother who loved Him beyond words, not just as her Son, but as her Savior and Lord. Pause for a moment and think about it. She would watch as her Son grew into manhood, into ministry, and into His role as Redeemer - the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world (Rev. 13:8)
Mary didn’t know the resurrection would follow Jesus’ death, though He’d said as much. She only knew that her firstborn, the child of her heart and faith, was experiencing indescribable suffering. Imagine the torment of her heart. Imagine the deep ache and angst she carried as she watched Him endure. Imagine the crushed hopes and dreams. Mary could teach us a bit about being a mother. She endured in spite of the sword that pierced her very soul.
Here’s the thing. Mary knew she was the woman God chose to bring Jesus into this fallen world and that He wasn’t born for her alone. She was cognizant, from the start, that this child was chosen and holy. God had a purpose and plan. Mary might not have understood all that would unfold, but from the start, she believed and trusted God more than the voices and circumstances surrounding her.
It’s a good reminder. God chose us to be the parents of our children, whether by birth, adoption, or children of the heart. He ordained that relationship because it was His will and His plan. Nothing is by chance. Everything has a purpose. We know that with deep love, comes also the need for willingness to sacrifice, endure pain, suffer hardship, but also to delight in joy, and to accept the unexpected- both good and bad. God is Sovereign. Ultimately, as parents, we must also remember and be prepared that, “A sword will pierce your own soul, too.” Because loving another means enduring what may come and releasing our hopes and dreams for what God may design or allow. It can bring an ache that only the Lord can soothe.
The real question is, will we allow our deep ache to define us? Will we allow it to eclipse the Presence and power of the Lord in our own life? Mary didn’t. No, she trusted God fully, even when she didn’t understand. She stepped aside when it was time for Jesus’ ministry to begin. She didn’t demand that He remain at home. She didn’t try to engineer His next steps. She didn’t choose His friendships or His career path. She trusted God to guide His steps. She knew that He knew best and she was willing to trust Him and let Him have His way.
The wedding in Cana saw a shift in the mother-Son relationship. She stepped back and she encouraged others to do whatever Jesus told them to (John 2). We should take lessons from Mary. We need to encourage our children to do whatever Jesus tells them to and go where He leads…whether it keeps them close by or takes them around the world, whether it keeps them surrounded and safe or leaves them vulnerable and at risk in the path of danger. There is no better, or safer, place for our sons and daughters to be than in the will of the Lord, wherever that may be, whether in an office or in the line of duty. If we’re praying for a prodigal, we need to surrender them wholly to God, over and over, assuring our own aching heart that God is capable of saving them from their own rebellion and foolishness and that God must have His way because our way is limited and insufficient.
Godly parenting demands that we lean into and on the Lord, relying on His strength and guidance, otherwise we will crumble under the weight of what it requires from us. Consider this:
Mary trusted God more than she trusted her feelings.
She allowed God’s promises to assure her more than the circumstances surrounding her.
She believed God’s plan, though it may have been obscured, more than what she could see and experience around her.
She chose to find solace and comfort in God, even through the deepest, searing pain she knew as a mother, because she knew God was faithful and she trusted Him.
We don’t hear much about Mary after the crucifixion because, really, the story isn’t about her. She was God’s servant. She allowed herself to be used by God, placed in circumstances and surrounded by people who were all ordained to be part of Jesus’ story. And really, that’s our role in our children’s lives as well. We are here to guide, teach, support, and encourage them to follow Jesus. We are part of His story too, but we may need to step back and allow the Lord to do what He wills rather than engineer our own safe, successful outcome for our sons and daughters. It may not be safe. It may not be sweet. It may ask more of us that we are comfortable or willing to give. But here is the question, are we willing to trust the Lord? Are we willing to endure the sword to our soul in order to raise sons and daughters who give theirs to the Lord?
Let’s pray that the Lord uses that ache to pull us closer to Him, more fervent in prayer and more focused on eternal things.
“Oh, dear Father- the One who loves me more than I know, please soothe my aching heart today. I know that my aching heart is a symptom of my love for (name). But Lord, it can also be a result of a lack of trust. Lord, help me to surrender (name) to You and Your will. Give me confidence in Christ that wherever they go, whatever they do, they are not beyond Your protection and provision (Ps. 139). “Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong and do not fear; your God will come,” Isa. 35:3-4a. I know You understand the ache of a parent’s heart, dear Lord, because You see your children in their foolishness and rebellion. You see them strut in pride and independence. You long to have a deep, abiding relationship with each of us. You know the ache, Lord. I pray that You would daily remind me when I feel the throb of Momma’s heart, that it be a reminder to get on my knees and talk with You. Lord, let it drive me to depend on You, lean into You, and trust You for (name)’s every moment, their protection and provision. Lord, help me to trust You more than my feelings that will lie, deceive, and distract me. Help me to cling to Your promises, not the hint of a changing tide or a glimmer of hope. Help me to trust Your plan and not engineer my own. Lord, help me to rest under the shadow of Your wings and find my safety in Your strong tower. You are The Almighty. You can do anything. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief. I lift (name) to You today and trust that You will work and accomplish Your will in their life for their good and for Your glory, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing