The Ache of a Momma’s Heart
Recently I came across a verse that hit deeply and made me pause. The words were directed to Mary, the brand new mother of the infant Jesus, from Simeon, a priest in the Temple in Jerusalem, when he met and held the newborn Messiah.
“This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” (emphasis added) Luke 2:34-35
Simeon’s words were prophetic and held deep meaning as well as the promise of pain to a mother’s heart. “And a sword will pierce your own soul, too.” Can you imagine hearing that as you hold your week-old baby?
It was a harbinger of what Mary would face as the mother of the Messiah, destined to give His life on the cross, though she likely didn’t comprehend the devastating pain that would come. Jesus would be falsely accused, plotted against, betrayed, beaten, mocked, and then crucified. The many who swore their allegiance would turn away. Those that professed their love for Him would cool and grow indifferent. The sword that ultimately pierced His side would, in effect, pierce the very soul of the mother who loved Him beyond words, not just as her Son, but as her Savior and Lord. Pause for a moment and think about it. She would watch as her Son grew into manhood, into ministry, and into His role as Redeemer - the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world (Rev. 13:8)
Mary didn’t know the resurrection would follow Jesus’ death, though He’d said as much. She only knew that her firstborn, the child of her heart and faith, was experiencing indescribable suffering. Imagine the torment of her heart. Imagine the deep ache and angst she carried as she watched Him endure. Imagine the crushed hopes and dreams. Mary could teach us a bit about being a mother. She endured in spite of the sword that pierced her very soul.
Here’s the thing. Mary knew she was the woman God chose to bring Jesus into this fallen world and that He wasn’t born for her alone. She was cognizant, from the start, that this child was chosen and holy. God had a purpose and plan. Mary might not have understood all that would unfold, but from the start, she believed and trusted God more than the voices and circumstances surrounding her.
It’s a good reminder. God chose us to be the parents of our children, whether by birth, adoption, or children of the heart. He ordained that relationship because it was His will and His plan. Nothing is by chance. Everything has a purpose. We know that with deep love, comes also the need for willingness to sacrifice, endure pain, suffer hardship, but also to delight in joy, and to accept the unexpected- both good and bad. God is Sovereign. Ultimately, as parents, we must also remember and be prepared that, “A sword will pierce your own soul, too.” Because loving another means enduring what may come and releasing our hopes and dreams for what God may design or allow. It can bring an ache that only the Lord can soothe.
The real question is, will we allow our deep ache to define us? Will we allow it to eclipse the Presence and power of the Lord in our own life? Mary didn’t. No, she trusted God fully, even when she didn’t understand. She stepped aside when it was time for Jesus’ ministry to begin. She didn’t demand that He remain at home. She didn’t try to engineer His next steps. She didn’t choose His friendships or His career path. She trusted God to guide His steps. She knew that He knew best and she was willing to trust Him and let Him have His way.
The wedding in Cana saw a shift in the mother-Son relationship. She stepped back and she encouraged others to do whatever Jesus told them to (John 2). We should take lessons from Mary. We need to encourage our children to do whatever Jesus tells them to and go where He leads…whether it keeps them close by or takes them around the world, whether it keeps them surrounded and safe or leaves them vulnerable and at risk in the path of danger. There is no better, or safer, place for our sons and daughters to be than in the will of the Lord, wherever that may be, whether in an office or in the line of duty. If we’re praying for a prodigal, we need to surrender them wholly to God, over and over, assuring our own aching heart that God is capable of saving them from their own rebellion and foolishness and that God must have His way because our way is limited and insufficient.
Godly parenting demands that we lean into and on the Lord, relying on His strength and guidance, otherwise we will crumble under the weight of what it requires from us. Consider this:
Mary trusted God more than she trusted her feelings.
She allowed God’s promises to assure her more than the circumstances surrounding her.
She believed God’s plan, though it may have been obscured, more than what she could see and experience around her.
She chose to find solace and comfort in God, even through the deepest, searing pain she knew as a mother, because she knew God was faithful and she trusted Him.
We don’t hear much about Mary after the crucifixion because, really, the story isn’t about her. She was God’s servant. She allowed herself to be used by God, placed in circumstances and surrounded by people who were all ordained to be part of Jesus’ story. And really, that’s our role in our children’s lives as well. We are here to guide, teach, support, and encourage them to follow Jesus. We are part of His story too, but we may need to step back and allow the Lord to do what He wills rather than engineer our own safe, successful outcome for our sons and daughters. It may not be safe. It may not be sweet. It may ask more of us that we are comfortable or willing to give. But here is the question, are we willing to trust the Lord? Are we willing to endure the sword to our soul in order to raise sons and daughters who give theirs to the Lord?
Let’s pray that the Lord uses that ache to pull us closer to Him, more fervent in prayer and more focused on eternal things.
“Oh, dear Father- the One who loves me more than I know, please soothe my aching heart today. I know that my aching heart is a symptom of my love for (name). But Lord, it can also be a result of a lack of trust. Lord, help me to surrender (name) to You and Your will. Give me confidence in Christ that wherever they go, whatever they do, they are not beyond Your protection and provision (Ps. 139). “Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong and do not fear; your God will come,” Isa. 35:3-4a. I know You understand the ache of a parent’s heart, dear Lord, because You see your children in their foolishness and rebellion. You see them strut in pride and independence. You long to have a deep, abiding relationship with each of us. You know the ache, Lord. I pray that You would daily remind me when I feel the throb of Momma’s heart, that it be a reminder to get on my knees and talk with You. Lord, let it drive me to depend on You, lean into You, and trust You for (name)’s every moment, their protection and provision. Lord, help me to trust You more than my feelings that will lie, deceive, and distract me. Help me to cling to Your promises, not the hint of a changing tide or a glimmer of hope. Help me to trust Your plan and not engineer my own. Lord, help me to rest under the shadow of Your wings and find my safety in Your strong tower. You are The Almighty. You can do anything. I believe, Lord, help my unbelief. I lift (name) to You today and trust that You will work and accomplish Your will in their life for their good and for Your glory, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing
Burdens and Remedies
Isaiah 53:4-6
Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
Whatever you’re carrying today, Jesus already bore the weight of it all on the cross. Think about that… all of the pain, sorrow, grief, sin… all of it from the beginning of time to the very end- He saw it, He knew it, He carried it to the cross, so that in His suffering, our suffering is never out of His control, but it’s present to remind us we are called to be like Christ.
The picture above is profound. The entire scene seems to be overlaid with a fingerprint. There is no part of the man’s experience that isn’t touched by it. It’s representative of our lives. God’s hand is all over everything we face, even the dark, difficult, painful days are not out of God’s control and mediation. His hand is all over anything we might face and He meters what we must endure. It is all to draw us closer to Him and make us more like Christ.
So whatever you’re facing today, He knew it before you faced it and He’s already got the remedy. Little sheep, listen to your Shepherd. Follow Him closely, lean into Him, trust Him. Don’t turn to your own way and don’t grow bitter. There is safety in the fold of Jesus. Find your place there.
There is no sorrow too heavy that He cannot carry it. Jesus is a Man of sorrows, He understands.
There is no grief too deep He cannot reach it. He is acquainted with grief. Let Jesus be your comfort.
There is no pain too intense He cannot bear it. Let Him be a balm to your hurting heart.
There is no darkness too great He cannot breach it. Look to the Light of the World to bring light to the darkness.
El-Roi- the God who sees
Jehovah-Jireh- the God who provides
Jehovah-Rapha- the God who heals
Jesus- the God who saves
Maybe you’re praying for a prodigal and the sorrow, grief, pain and darkness are overwhelming. God is not overwhelmed. He sees. He knows. He is working. Even if you cannot see it, trust Him. He is Sovereign and He loves your precious prodigal more than you ever could. He wants all to come to repentance. Pray that it would be so!
Let’s pray that our sons and daughters find their safety and identity in Christ. Pray that they would run to Him, not away from Him. Pray that their hearts would be drawn to the One who already endured everything and carefully sifts what will touch their lives because nothing is out of His control.
Pray without ceasing.
A willingness to pray “God, do what You must.”
If you’re a parent, you’re a ‘fixer’. It’s what we do. Whatever the situation, we’re always at-the-ready to find a solution, make it better, fix what is broken or soothe what is hurt. We hate to see our kids in pain or dealing with hardship. Our hearts hurt to know that they grieve or struggle. When we see it, we jump to try and fix it.
Yet, sometimes we can’t fix it. It’s not that we don’t want to, it’s that we’re unable to. That’s a hard place to be, isn’t it? When our son or daughter is going through a hard time, it’s difficult to watch and we want, more than anything, to make it better. But sometimes it’s beyond our ability. And if our son or daughter is running from God, we can’t change their heart or bring repentance. That’s something only God can do. No matter how much we desire it, we cannot ‘will’ them to change.
We become like the little child, bringing the much-loved broken toy to our Father saying ‘fix it’, ‘heal it’, ‘make it better’. But sometimes the situation and damage requires intervention that is difficult to watch and painful to endure. We don’t want our son or daughter going through pain- we’ve spent our lives working to spare them from it! We don’t want to see things get worse- our entire prayer directive has been that it would be made better.
It’s akin to someone needing a heart transplant. The hope for life and health lie in getting a new heart. But it’s not that easy. First, a new heart must come from a donor, someone who lost their life and was willing to donate their organ to be a life-saving opportunity for someone who is dying. Then, the patient must be willing to undergo extensive transplant surgery. They’re surgically opened up and their old heart is removed and the new one is put in place. It is radical, painful, and dangerous. But the hope for life overrides the fear of pain and the anxiety about the procedure. And the hope for life requires that the patient undergoes the painful process.
Friends, the prodigal has the same need. They need a new heart. Their current heart is damaged and diseased. Their situation will surely lead to death, perhaps not a physical death, but a spiritual death looms.. The enemy laughs and takes delight in the slow demise and the sure destination that a prodigal life assures. The process required to remedy this direction and destination means the prodigal has to die to themselves and be willing to allow the Lord to give them a new heart to remedy the damage that’s been done. It’s a painful process. It’s difficult to watch and we know what needs to happen. But it’s excruciating to see our son or daughter go through difficulty, pain, and suffering. But when we’ve done all we can and there is still no change, we need to step back and allow God to work.
Friends, are we willing to pray, “God, do what You must”?
Are we willing to pray, “God, do what you must”? That’s a hard prayer. It’s an anguished prayer. It’s a prayer of surrender, acknowledging that the rescue is beyond our ability to achieve. This prayer requires that we not interfere with what God chooses to do. We have to squelch the urge to rush in and rescue, to mitigate the painful consequences, to redeem the bad choices, to make it better, because really, we won’t make it better, we’ll only prolong the process. When we truly turn our son or daughter over to God to work as He wills, it is the ultimate act of trust. It’s trusting Him that He can parent them better than we can. It’s trusting that our God loves them more than we do. It’s trusting that His ways are higher than our ways and that He is the only One who can effect change and redeem the wayward heart. It requires full surrender on our part to achieve surrender in their heart.
It requires full surrender on our part to achieve surrender in their heart.
“God, do what you must, and help me to trust You.” It’s a prayer of surrender. Here’s another question…if we’re not willing to pray that prayer, are we fully surrendered to the Lord? Do we love Him more than we love our son or daughter? Do we trust Him enough? It requires some introspection into our own hearts and attitudes. It’s a peeling away of those things we’ve trusted other than the Lord. It’s a purifying of our own faith. We must be willing. But we can be honest with God, too, and tell Him how it scares us, because that prayer does bring fear of what may come. But, brothers and sisters, He is Lord of what may come. We need to rest in His goodness.
“God, do what you must, and help me to trust You.” Continue praying that prayer. Every moment, every day. Breathe it out. Remind yourself that God is Sovereign and He can do whatever He wills. He WILL do whatever He wills. We can either accept and support it, or fight it and be miserable. We must trust the Great Physician. He is able to give the prodigal a new heart and a surrendered spirit. Ezekiel 11:19 “I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.”
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. Matthew 18:12-14
Today, write out a prayer of surrender and trust to the God who is able to do more than we could ask or imagine. He spoke all of creation into existence. He subdues nations. He rules over every power and principality. He can turn a heart of stone into a heart of flesh, tender and surrendered to the Lord. Trust Him. Ask HIm to work mightily and to show you that He is working and moving. Remember, His timeline doesn’t mirror our own, but He is Lord of the clock, Lord of the calendar and Lord of the one He created… He loves the prodigal and longs to see them return. Trust Him.
God is not done working!
Pray without ceasing, friends.
Sunday Worship
Psalm 107:1-3 “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.”
Oh, how we long for our sons and daughters to have a testimony of God’s redemption in their lives. Maybe one day soon they will sing the words of the hymn below…until then, let’s sing our own testimony of God’s goodness to us!
Blessed Assurance
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine;
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.
Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.
Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest;
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.
Fanny Jane Crosby
Saturday Review
As we wrap up our week let’s continue praying for the wanderer and prodigal. God is able to do more than we ask or think and remember, the Spirit intercedes for us when we don’t know what to pray.
The Father longs for our wandering sons and daughters to turn to Him. Let’s lift our heavy hearts to Him.
If you missed our study this week on praying for the prodigal, you can watch the youtube video here: How To Pray for A Prodigal Child It might be a great place to start your Saturday Review.
Pray that:
Our sons and daughters would mourn and lament their sin.
That the Lord would open the eyes of their heart to see how grievous their choices are and how much their sin and rebellion distances them from God.
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation.
Hearts are broken over pride, selfishness and rebellion.
That they see their path only leads to death and they are terrified by it.
Pray that our sons and daughters know life and freedom in Christ.
Pray for the change that will turn their eternity into one of hope, joy, light and life.
Pray the armor of God over our sons and daughters, and then pray for the Spirit to intercede on their behalf and work in ways that are beyond what we might imagine for them.
Then, finish by reading Psalm 77. As we pray these words to the Lord, let’s use them to remind ourselves of His goodness and faithfulness and His promises that never fail.
Pray without ceasing.
Psalm 77
“I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
“Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”
Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
Yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will consider all your works
and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”
Your ways, God, are holy.
What god is as great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
The waters saw you, God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
The clouds poured down water,
the heavens resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.
You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.”
Protected, Powerful Prayer
Ephesians 6:10-13
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
Romans 8:26-27
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”
Praying for a prodigal son or daughter can be overwhelming. It can drain us of joy, hope and energy, especially if we’re putting so much focus on pleading and interceding on their behalf that we neglect our own spiritual health.
Remember the days when our children were infants? We were exhausted just trying to meet their basic needs. It seemed all-consuming. Yet, we had to make the effort to eat, sleep and care for ourselves, because if we neglected ourselves too much, then we were not able to meet the needs of our little one.
Friends, it’s much the same with our spiritual needs. We are praying against the enemy himself and if we do not take time to ensure we are guarded, protected and shielded by our Savior, we run the risk of being a target as well.
We need to put on the full armor of God, daily. The FULL armor. We can’t go into this half-dressed. We can’t just grab our shield of faith and call it good. No, we need the helmet of salvation, the sword of the Spirit, the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth and feet that are ready with the gospel. Only then are we equipped and ready to battle for the hearts and minds of our sons and daughters.
And when we don’t know what to pray? That’s when we cry out to the Spirit and ask Him to intercede for us. Who better to plead with the Father than the Spirit who knows what we need and can express it in words...rather groans that reach the heart of our Father. “He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” And isn’t that what we want for our sons and daughters? To be obedient and blessed in the will of God?
Today, let’s take time to pray the armor of God over ourselves and our sons and daughters, and then pray for the Spirit to intercede on their behalf and work in ways that are beyond what we might imagine for them.
Pray without ceasing.