Remorse vs. Repentance
Remorse vs. Repentance, what’s the difference? Does it matter?
We sometimes hear about those who have committed a crime and, during the court proceedings, the offender shows remorse for their actions. We look for remorse as a sign that the offender understands they’ve done wrong. But, remorse alone isn’t enough, is it?
Matthew 27:3 “When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.”
That’s right. Judas showed remorse. According to Strong’s Concordance, the word for remorse in Greek is “metamelomai” which means “to care afterward” (1). Isn’t that profound? Judas cared afterward. He only regretted his actions after the deed was done.
Remorse is incomplete. It’s only a half-step in the direction of change. It’s an act of sorrow without a transformation. But if the sinner goes no further, there is no change. It’s more of an “I’m sorry because I got caught”. Remorse is sorrow for the immediate consequences but there remains a desire to continue pursuing the life, attitudes and sinful pleasures that caused the occasion for regret. A show of remorse doesn’t mean the person’s changed their ways. The individual may only become more stealthy and more deceitful because, deep down, there was no change of heart, just a brief show of contrition to cover the offense.
Friends, remorse isn’t enough. We need to pray for repentance.
“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow is the word, “lype” and it describes a sorrow, pain and grief; a mourning (2). Godly sorrow is grieving according to the will of God, “kata” (3). When we allow God to stir our hearts, we’re grieved by our sin and we’re drawn to repentance- a desire to change, turn from sin to God. We begin to see how our sin is rebellion against God and how it drives us away from Him.
Repentance, ‘metanoya’ in the Greek, is a change of mind, a guilt that includes reformation and a reversal of decision or action. The word has two parts, ‘meta’- the whole, before, and after and ‘noya’ - the deeper understanding. Repentance is a deeper understanding of the grievousness of our sin and the gravity of the offense against God.
Remorse is being sorry for the moment. Repentance is grieving over the whole story, how the sin has impacted everything before and will continue to destroy everything following…unless there is a change. Does it make sense? Can you see the difference? Godly sorrow brings repentance. Remorse doesn’t bring change at all.
Godly sorrow brings repentance.
Remorse doesn’t bring change at all.
Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Can you see the deeper meaning here? If Godly sorrow is mourning over our sin…and Jesus is the remedy for our sin… what comfort!! What relief!!
Jesus wasn’t just speaking about those grieving loved ones lost, that’s the ‘surface’ meaning. No, He was talking about mourning our sin. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who see their sin and are grieved by it. Blessed are they who understand that sin brings death. Blessed are they who grieve its presence, its impact and the destruction it causes. Because when they do see and understand it, and grieve it honestly and ‘metanoya’= seek change through the redemption that Jesus brings, they will be blessed, they will live! Eternal life will be theirs to enjoy!
Oh how we want the hearts of our sons and daughters to be tender to the Lord! Today, let’s pray that our sons and daughters are confronted with their sin. That’s a hard prayer, but an important one. Don’t just pray that they are remorseful, because that’s an incomplete response to sin that doesn’t generate change. Pray for repentance and redemption. Pray for a life surrendered to Jesus.
“Father, You see our secret sins, the ones we hide and cherish. You see the things we choose to do when we think no one is looking. You see our desires and our endeavors. You know our motivations. I know You see the heart of my (son/daughter) and You know the sin they struggle with. Lord, they cannot hide from You and they cannot deceive You, I’m so grateful for that. I pray that You would work in (name)’s heart today. Don’t just cause them to be ‘caught’ and remorseful, but Lord, stir a deep grief in their heart and mind for any way they’ve opposed You. I pray that they would understand the pain their sin caused others and You. I pray, Lord, that they would mourn the ways that sin impacts their life, the ‘before, present and afterward’ unless they repent and seek restoration and redemption in Jesus. Lord, even if (name) knows You as Lord and Savior, sin still plays a role because we live in a sinful world. I pray that You would stir in them an honest mourning for sin and a desire to seek repentance. Work in my life, too, Lord. Help me to grieve over sin, as well. I’m not beyond making mistakes or stumbling. Help me not to be prideful but to admit any wrong that I’ve done. Change me, Lord, so that I reflect Christ in my life. Bring fruit. Destroy the “Judas” in my heart and replace it with Jesus so that I live for Him daily. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Pray for a life surrendered to Jesus.
Pray without ceasing
G3338 - metamelomai - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3338/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G3077 - lypē - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3077/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G2596 - kata - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g2596/niv/mgnt/0-1/
Looking for Smoke, Watching for Fire.
Read Jonah 3-4
God called Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh to preach of His pending judgment for their sinful ways and call them to repentance. Jonah’s response wasn’t obedience, but a fast dash in the opposite direction and from God’s command.. But then, the storm, the fish, the 3 day ordeal and Jonah repented….or so we thought. His prayer in Jonah 2:8 was profound, “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”
When we join him in chapter 3, Jonah is headed into Nineveh, a city of over 120,000 people. It was a large and influential city and a visit to all of Nineveh took no less than three days. That’s an important fact to remember.
Jonah began on day one, preaching “40 more days and Nineveh will be overturned”. Friends, this was one man speaking to a wealthy, influential city. Just one. We’ve seen accounts of someone storming a government meeting, shouting their warning- and being quickly whisked away, while all go back to their business. We’ve seen pictures of a man standing in a crowded city with a sign, “the end of the world is near” as people walk by, indifferent to his warning. Imagine Jonah, preaching God’s judgment in such a huge city- he was likely to be ignored, mocked or run out of town. But no. No, Nineveh listened. In fact, they listened so well that within a day, the entire city believed God’s warning. They began fasting and the king even made a decree that everyone should call urgently on the Lord.. Can you imagine a revival like that?! One day and the entire city was mourning their sin. That’s the power of God at work! Jonah 3:10 “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction he had threatened.”
You would think Jonah would be rejoicing- so overwhelmed, excited, and grateful that Nineveh responded to God’s message. But Jonah? He wasn’t impressed. In fact, he was angry. He was self-righteous and resentful. Jonah 4:2-3 “He prayed to the Lord, “O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”” Jonah then went outside the city, made himself a shelter and sat to wait and watch what would happen to the city (v. 5) He wanted to see Nineveh receive what they deserved- a fiery judgment from the Lord. So he waited. He watched. He wanted to see smoke. And his attitude kept him from seeing the blessing and grace of the Lord revealed to over 120,000 souls.
Here’s the thing, Jonah elevated his own standard of justice above God’s. Jonah resented God’s forgiveness of the Ninevites. He wanted to see them receive the just reward for their sinfulness. He was eager to see smoke and he was ready to be smug and say “you got what you deserved!” Yet, he was ignoring the sin in his own heart. Oh, he obeyed God…on the outside, but inside, he was still as resentful, rebellious and selfish as he was when he stepped foot on the boat.
Friends, I fear we are more like Jonah than we might imagine. We have a fierce sense of justice. We hate to see people get away with wrongdoing. We hate to see the wicked prosper. When someone wrongs another, we want to see them caught in their sin and punished for the pain they caused. Yet, what if they repent? What if they confess their sin and seek forgiveness? And what if they receive mercy instead of punishment? If we’re honest, we struggle with forgiveness and mercy toward those who did wrong because it’s not what that ‘other’ deserves. They deserve condemnation. They deserve for God to ‘smite’ them. Our sense of justice might demand they pay a little more, they suffer a bit longer, they earn their way back into grace. Oh friends, God’s justice is not ours. Isaiah 5:16 says, “But the LORD Almighty will be exalted by his justice, and the holy God will be proved holy by his righteous acts.” Psalm 89:14 “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you.”
Jonah lost sight of his own sin. He couldn’t see that he was rebellious against God, too. He didn’t see the depth of God’s forgiveness and mercy for him- he could only see the ‘injustice’ of God’s mercy on Nineveh. Jonah was outwardly obedient to God’s command and inwardly turning his back to the Lord’s standards and creating his own. Jonah, himself, had a idol- craving his own sense of justice and fairness, and that idol robbed him of the grace he would receive from God through his surrender and obedience.
Oh, the story of Jonah holds much appeal for our little ones as they learn the miracle of his rescue in the fish. But friends, the story of Jonah holds much for us and our adult sons and daughters in the bigger story of his outward obedience but his inward bitterness and rebellion. It’s not difficult to live in such a way that we ‘appear’ obedient- especially if we were raised in church.. We check all the boxes; we show up as we should; we ‘talk the talk’. But, we can appear outwardly obedient and still rebel against God in our hearts. We can resent his mercy to those who are undeserving….and totally miss the fact that we are just as undeserving. Romans 5:6-8 “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We were undeserving. Justice demanded that we pay for our sin with our life- for eternity. Yet, Jesus stepped in on our behalf. He showed us mercy when we deserved none. And if we accept His sacrifice on our behalf, God looks on us and sees Christ’s righteousness. That, friends, is amazing. It’s undeserved. It's a merciful redemption that changes our eternity. And we should rejoice when anyone believes, repents and surrenders to God.
Do we have a Jonah heart? Do we hold others' sins against them even when God has forgiven them? Are we giddy to see people receive punishment or do we pray for their repentance and that they would know God’s forgiveness? Friends, we have nothing to resent when someone is repentant and shown mercy- it should always be a reminder of the mercy we also received from God. We were and are undeserving. We should rejoice in the repentance of others. And if we can’t? Well, then it might be time to check our hearts.
And Jonah? He was the author of this book. He could have resolved the story and shared how he followed God faithfully. He could have painted himself in a much better light. But he didn’t. Jonah ended his story with God’s rebuke against this prophet’s rebellious, vengeful heart. There was no ‘neat little bow’ on top of this story. Instead, there was a hard lesson and an unresolved sin that leaves us to ponder how Jonah, the prophet and author, was used by God in spite of his heart. And he was used by God in mighty ways. Even unbelievers know the story of Jonah- and God can use those seeds to change lives. Our rebellion will never be powerful enough to prevent God from working…but it can be powerful enough to cause us to forfeit the grace that would be ours.
There is no doubt we’ll meet Jonah in heaven and when we do, I’m sure he will have quite a story…but it’s not just going to be about the fish. It’s going to be about his heart and the weight of God’s mercy toward him. Instead of looking for smoke and watching for fire, let’s look to see how God is working and rejoice when He turns hearts and lives to Him.
Let’s take time to pray today for our own hearts and for those of our sons and daughters. Pray for forgiveness. Pray for a surrendered heart. Pray for freedom from a judgmental spirit. Pray that God would use each of us in spite of ourselves. And pray that we would not cling to idols and forfeit the grace He wants to lavish on each of us.
Pray without ceasing.
God Uses the Storms
Today, read Jonah, chapter 1
We all know the story of Jonah. But let’s have a quick recap, shall we? Jonah was a prophet of God, called to take God’s message of pending judgment to a city called Nineveh. Nineveh wasn’t just a city, the Bible calls it a ‘great city’- it had significance….and it was full of wickedness.
Jonah knew all about Nineveh and he was less than interested in going there to share God’s warning and in how they should repent. In Jonah’s eyes, they deserved what was coming.
So Jonah ran. He ran in the opposite direction, away from Nineveh and away from God.
Let’s stop here. Do you have a son or daughter who is running from God? He sees and He knows! Don’t despair. God is working…
Now, back to Jonah…God let him run. He let Jonah board a ship headed for Tarsus. And Jonah wasn’t shy about sharing why he was headed to Tarsus. He told the sailors he was running from God. (1:10). But the sailors didn’t know or fear the Almighty God. There were many gods among them and it was more of a “Hey, whatever works for you, man” sort of thing. So running from God wasn't a cause for concern…until the storm.
God brought a storm that was wild and fierce. It challenged these seasoned sailors and after doing all they could on their own to save the ship, they began asking who was responsible for making all this trouble. Clearly, they sensed a spiritual aspect to this storm.
And Jonah? He was indifferent…asleep in the bottom of the ship- so disconnected that the captain had to wake him from a deep sleep. You see, in his running from God, he’d stopped listening to the Lord and he became insensitive and indifferent to God’s working. (Sometimes, when we run from God, we reach a place where we no longer hear His voice, but God is still working).
Jonah owned up to his part in the storm. When he confessed that he worshiped the God of Heaven, who made the sea and the land, the sailors were struck with fear. Now, here is where the account grows even more interesting… Jonah’s solution to save the ship and the men on it was to have them throw him overboard. We don’t know what his thoughts were- had he had a change of heart? Did he know God would save him? Was he simply owning his defiance and accepting his ‘fate’? The sailors didn’t want to do it…they continued trying everything else, but finally agreed that in order to have any chance at survival, they must do what Jonah said.
They threw him overboard. And they pleaded with God to not hold them accountable for Jonah’s life. They pleaded to God. Did you catch that? God used this storm to bring these sailors to a realization that there is One True God. They prayed, offered sacrifices to Him. They feared the Lord and made vows to Him. (1:15-16) Sometimes the storm isn’t just about us. Sometimes, God uses the storms to impact those around us and He uses our storms to bring others to Him.
And Jonah? Well, God provided a fish to swallow him. And here’s the thing…no one saw what went on inside the fish. No one. Yet, God was working. Remember that.
Friends, is your son or daughter in the midst of a storm? Step back and look at the big picture. Maybe God will use that storm to speak into their life…or maybe He’ll use it to speak into someone else’s life. That storm might not only be for your son or daughter. Does it seem like they’re indifferent to God? Keep praying. God is still working. Does it seem like the consequences of their choices have swallowed them whole- all is lost, there is no hope? God is STILL working- remember, no one saw what went on inside the fish. But God did. And he put Jonah there for a reason. And He’s allowed your son or daughter to be where they are for a reason. He’s not done working. Trust Him. Continue to pray. Ask God to calm the storm and reassure your faith. The next part of the story is coming… and God uses it for good!
“Father, You are the Almighty God, Maker of Heaven and Earth, Lord of the sea and the land. I trust You. Lord, sometimes all I can see is the storm. I worry for (name) and long for them to surrender to You. I know You are working, yet, I don’t see it. Give me spiritual eyes to recognize that even in the storm, You’re working and You don’t stop. I pray that (name) would grow sensitive to Your voice. Make their heart tender toward You. Burden them with their sin, their defiance, their indifference and draw them to surrender. I pray, Lord, that you would use this storm to shake them from their complacency to stand before You and acknowledge You are Lord of all. Father, put (name) wherever they need to be in order to hear Your voice. And help me to trust You that even when I can’t see what’s going on ‘inside the fish’ that You are there and You’re moving, changing hearts and drawing those who have run away, back to You. Lord, I pray that You would draw (name) back to you today. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
Investments and Returns
Jonah 2:8 “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.”
Jonah knew what he was talking about. He knew that the lure of other things is strong, so much so that they can eclipse the gospel message in the eyes of one who is charmed by those lesser gods. Mark 10:17-25 is just such an example:
Mark 10:17-25 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”
“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”
Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”
The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
This young man wanted to follow Jesus...just not more than he wanted to hold onto his worldly possessions. He’d worked hard to earn them. They meant a lot to him. They were hard to release. Didn’t Jesus see their value? This young man couldn’t see the full wonder, beauty and redemptive power of Jesus because he was charmed by his possessions and success. He couldn’t see how releasing his hold on those ‘things’ would give him riches and blessings so much greater than he had ever known. No, he could only see all that he’d worked for, all that was precious to him, was exactly what Jesus was calling him to release. He wanted to be able to follow Jesus and ‘earn’ Heaven while still giving his heart to all that charmed him in this life. Had he truly understood the exchange Jesus was offering, he would have understood it to be the best investment he would ever make.
And what was Jesus' response? Mark says “Jesus looked at him and loved him.” Jesus knew the dilemma this young man was wrestling with. He knew what He offered would bring joy, contentment, fulfillment and eternal security. Yet, the young man couldn’t see it. Jonah was right, “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.” This young man forfeited God’s love for things that wouldn’t last, things couldn’t give him a relationship and things that offered no salvation at all.
Oh, how our hearts want our sons and daughters to make the better choice!! We must pray that they don’t forfeit the love of God for earthly things. There is no comparison.
“Heavenly Father, Lord of Heaven and Earth, You bless us beyond our comprehension and You promise us an eternal inheritance in Your vast Kingdom as Your beloved child. Oh how we long to sit beside You and hear Your voice. Your Presence is precious to us and Your comfort and love is abundant and glorious. Lord, I pray that (name) would understand how wide, how long, how high and how deep Your love is. And Lord, let them know this love that surpasses knowledge—that (name) may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Father, draw them so they are charmed by You and not this world. Don’t let them forfeit their relationship with You for things that will not satisfy. Let the tarnish of this world’s glitter be evident. Don’t let them turn away from Your love but remain true, now and forever. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
Praying Unhindered
Psalm 144:12-15 “Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Our barns will be filled with every kind of provision. Our sheep will increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields; our oxen will draw heavy loads. There will be no breaching of walls, no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets. Blessed is the people of whom this is true; blessed is the people whose God is the LORD.”
What greater joy is there than seeing our sons and daughters thrive in their walk with Christ and embrace a passion for Scripture and a desire to serve Him and impact the world for the gospel?! Psalm 144 gives a big picture view of God’s relationship with man. When man is obedient and submits to His lordship, the Psalm describes the blessings that flow out of that right relationship. One of those blessings is sons and daughters who thrive. Another blessing is provision for our needs and protection from the enemy.
Friends, as much as we pray for our sons and daughters, our own personal relationship with the Lord needs to be right. Our example and our walk impact how our children flourish. We hold a great responsibility. We cannot excuse ourselves. We must be actively pursuing Christ and ensuring our vertical relationship with Him is right.
THEN our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants and our daughters like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Our thriving sons and daughters are a result of our right relationship with the Lord. (ah, some may be saying ‘but what if my son or daughter ISN’T following the Lord?!) Friends, it’s not a guarantee. We can’t push buttons and make things happen. Man’s free will gets in the way and often muddies the waters. And the timeline for each is different. But if we, as parents, are following after Christ in the right way, He honors that. If we are living in sin, He will not.
Today, let’s stop and take stock. Let’s ensure that we are right with the Lord. Let’s examine ourselves and see if there is sin that needs to be identified and then a need for repentance. Let’s humble ourselves before the Lord so He can have full sway in our hearts and minds and create a clean heart in us. Let’s lead by example so that our sons and daughters see what a right relationship with God is. And then when we pray, we pray unhindered.
Pray without ceasing.