Remorse vs. Repentance
Remorse vs. Repentance, what’s the difference? Does it matter?
We sometimes hear about those who have committed a crime and, during the court proceedings, the offender shows remorse for their actions. We look for remorse as a sign that the offender understands they’ve done wrong. But, remorse alone isn’t enough, is it?
Matthew 27:3 “When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders.”
That’s right. Judas showed remorse. According to Strong’s Concordance, the word for remorse in Greek is “metamelomai” which means “to care afterward” (1). Isn’t that profound? Judas cared afterward. He only regretted his actions after the deed was done.
Remorse is incomplete. It’s only a half-step in the direction of change. It’s an act of sorrow without a transformation. But if the sinner goes no further, there is no change. It’s more of an “I’m sorry because I got caught”. Remorse is sorrow for the immediate consequences but there remains a desire to continue pursuing the life, attitudes and sinful pleasures that caused the occasion for regret. A show of remorse doesn’t mean the person’s changed their ways. The individual may only become more stealthy and more deceitful because, deep down, there was no change of heart, just a brief show of contrition to cover the offense.
Friends, remorse isn’t enough. We need to pray for repentance.
“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10
Godly sorrow is the word, “lype” and it describes a sorrow, pain and grief; a mourning (2). Godly sorrow is grieving according to the will of God, “kata” (3). When we allow God to stir our hearts, we’re grieved by our sin and we’re drawn to repentance- a desire to change, turn from sin to God. We begin to see how our sin is rebellion against God and how it drives us away from Him.
Repentance, ‘metanoya’ in the Greek, is a change of mind, a guilt that includes reformation and a reversal of decision or action. The word has two parts, ‘meta’- the whole, before, and after and ‘noya’ - the deeper understanding. Repentance is a deeper understanding of the grievousness of our sin and the gravity of the offense against God.
Remorse is being sorry for the moment. Repentance is grieving over the whole story, how the sin has impacted everything before and will continue to destroy everything following…unless there is a change. Does it make sense? Can you see the difference? Godly sorrow brings repentance. Remorse doesn’t bring change at all.
Godly sorrow brings repentance.
Remorse doesn’t bring change at all.
Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Can you see the deeper meaning here? If Godly sorrow is mourning over our sin…and Jesus is the remedy for our sin… what comfort!! What relief!!
Jesus wasn’t just speaking about those grieving loved ones lost, that’s the ‘surface’ meaning. No, He was talking about mourning our sin. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who see their sin and are grieved by it. Blessed are they who understand that sin brings death. Blessed are they who grieve its presence, its impact and the destruction it causes. Because when they do see and understand it, and grieve it honestly and ‘metanoya’= seek change through the redemption that Jesus brings, they will be blessed, they will live! Eternal life will be theirs to enjoy!
Oh how we want the hearts of our sons and daughters to be tender to the Lord! Today, let’s pray that our sons and daughters are confronted with their sin. That’s a hard prayer, but an important one. Don’t just pray that they are remorseful, because that’s an incomplete response to sin that doesn’t generate change. Pray for repentance and redemption. Pray for a life surrendered to Jesus.
“Father, You see our secret sins, the ones we hide and cherish. You see the things we choose to do when we think no one is looking. You see our desires and our endeavors. You know our motivations. I know You see the heart of my (son/daughter) and You know the sin they struggle with. Lord, they cannot hide from You and they cannot deceive You, I’m so grateful for that. I pray that You would work in (name)’s heart today. Don’t just cause them to be ‘caught’ and remorseful, but Lord, stir a deep grief in their heart and mind for any way they’ve opposed You. I pray that they would understand the pain their sin caused others and You. I pray, Lord, that they would mourn the ways that sin impacts their life, the ‘before, present and afterward’ unless they repent and seek restoration and redemption in Jesus. Lord, even if (name) knows You as Lord and Savior, sin still plays a role because we live in a sinful world. I pray that You would stir in them an honest mourning for sin and a desire to seek repentance. Work in my life, too, Lord. Help me to grieve over sin, as well. I’m not beyond making mistakes or stumbling. Help me not to be prideful but to admit any wrong that I’ve done. Change me, Lord, so that I reflect Christ in my life. Bring fruit. Destroy the “Judas” in my heart and replace it with Jesus so that I live for Him daily. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
Pray for a life surrendered to Jesus.
Pray without ceasing
G3338 - metamelomai - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3338/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G3077 - lypē - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3077/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G2596 - kata - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g2596/niv/mgnt/0-1/