Building a Godly Life
A rite of passage for young adults is moving out of their parent’s home and into their own place. We all know it’s coming someday, but when the day arrives, it’s bittersweet because for us as parents, it marks the end of a season. We step away from the ‘active parenting role’ and into the unfamiliar territory of parenting an adult. We no longer tell them what to do or how to do it (but if they ask, we’re happy to share). Our own agenda, calendar, and priorities are no longer the guidepost for their days and cannot dictate what they do, where they go, and when they interact with us or others. We can (and do) offer wisdom and guidance, but their decision making is their own. They have a job and they’re building a home and a life. It is important that we respect their adulthood while still offering wise words in discerning ways at appropriate times. (Oh that there was a manual for this stage!)
And though we won’t hear the laughter coming from their room or enjoy the unexpected conversations when they walk in and plop on the sofa at the end of the day, telling us all about their day, we’ll still enjoy the relationship. The conversations will unfold differently and, perhaps more deeply. The relationship shifts from the parent caring for a dependent child to that of a parent encouraging an adult son or daughter (note, we didn’t use the word ‘child’). And, of course, we will keep praying…always. Because, although they’re no longer occupying our house, they’ll never stop occupying our heart.
We recently launched our youngest into her own place. When she moved out of our home, we gave her the things we no longer needed or wanted. She furnished her home with second-hand furniture, thrift store finds and things collected from family and friends. Often, our sons and daughters have an idea of how they want their space to ‘look’ and they pay a lot of attention to that. But the more important thing is the foundation of their life- how does that look? Is it solid? Does it fit a life that is Biblically sound?
Building a life requires wisdom (we know that young adults have some wisdom…but wisdom comes with years and experience…they’ll figure that out at some point). As much as we help them find the physical items they need for their home, the spiritual aspects are even more vital as they live as independent adults. Our job now, as parents and mentors, is to pray intentionally that the home and life they build is one founded on Godly wisdom and truth.
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4
The following are prayer points that we can pray for our sons and daughters as they establish themselves in adulthood (and in the new neighborhood)
Pray that they are intentional to spend time in God’s Word daily- reading, learning, gaining wisdom and knowledge.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
2. Pray that they would have spiritual discernment and always look to the Lord for wisdom and protection.
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O sovereign Lord; in You I take refuge- do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by insafety. “
Psalm 141:8-10
3. Pray that they find a good church in which to settle, learn, grow and have fellowship and accountability. It’s easy to drift away from the habit of going to church.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
4. Pray that their friendships and any spouse-potential relationship would be God-honoring, that those they surround themselves with, spend time with, and whom they allow to build into their life would be Christ-followers who desire to please God more than anyone else.
“I am a companion of all who fear you, of those who keep your precepts.” Psalm 119:63
5. Then, let’s pray over them daily, that the Lord would guide their steps, protect them from harm and from those who would deceive them, and provide for them both physically and spiritually. Pray that they would desire more of Him and would see His hand in their life.
“Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.” Psalm 119:35
“Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.” Psalm 119:133
Today, let’s pray Psalm 121 over our sons and daughters:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
Pray without ceasing
The Ultimate Desire
Fellowship with God is the core desire that we were designed to experience and pursue. It is the deepest longing and need we will ever know-whether or not we choose to acknowledge that fact. We experience this longing because God has set eternity in the hearts of men (Ecclesiastes 3:11) and that will always stir a deep desire for something more than this world can give us…it’s the desire for more of Him, more of His Presence and more of His peace.
But that we recognize it as a longing for God isn’t guaranteed. Too often we strive to fill that longing with inadequate substitutes that cannot satisfy our hearts, our souls, and we struggle because of it. We wrestle with restlessness. We wander trying to find our purpose. We pursue the ‘next thing’ assuring ourselves that will be the answer. We continue to pursue temporal things to fill that God-desire in us, Even believers are duped into the deception of the futile pursuit of satisfaction by other means.
Before we came to know Jesus as our Lord and Savior, “we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world” Galatians 4:3. But when we confessed with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believed in our heart that God raised Him from the dead, we moved from eternal death to eternal life (Romans 10:9). And in that confession and belief, something in our heart, mind, and spirit changed. God placed His Spirit in us. “Because you are His sons, God sent the Spirit of His son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father” Galatians 4:6. And we began a relationship with God, unlike any we knew or experienced before. We began to experience the fulfillment of that longing that was set in our hearts from the time God created us.
“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb” Psalm 139:13.
God designed us to desire a relationship with Him. Once we realize nothing else fills us and completes us like Jesus can and does, we are compelled to pursue more of Him. But if we turn back and pursue other means to fill that longing, our spirit still cries out for our Abba Father. We cannot run from it.
The world tells us to pursue what will fill us and make us happy. The job. The relationship. The ‘things’. Renovate, redecorate, relocate. Move up, move out, move on. But what the world offers will never fulfill that eternal longing, because the world doesn’t possess the means, power, and resources to fill what only God can. “For this world in its present form is passing away” 1 Corinthians 7:29.
This is Satan’s biggest lie- that we can satisfy the longing of our hearts with the things of this world- lesser things, things that are not God. And when we pursue that, we are dissatisfied, frustrated, and disillusioned. The result is that we often turn and rail at God because we are unhappy, lost, hurting, and unfulfilled. We blame Him for our discontent when we’ve tried to soothe it with everything but Him.
HE is all we need. ALL we need. Any attempt to fill ourselves with anything else will always result in frustration and emptiness.
“The Lord knows the thoughts of man; He knows that they are futile” Psalm 94:11.
So, how can we fulfill that desire? Read Colossians 1: 9-12
“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.”
Take Action:
Be filled with the knowledge of His will- study His word and get to know it. The more we read Scripture, the more it sinks deeply into our heart, soul, and mind. We must allow our spirit to run freely in the environment it was created to- in the Presence of the Most High God. Our spirit cannot thrive when it’s seeking life from a source that is spiritually malnourished or empty of the things of God.
Cultivate spiritual wisdom. This comes when we spend consistent time in God’s word (see #1) and we begin to grow ‘smart’ in the things of Scripture. Our heart and head align in the context of the wisdom of God because we are saturating our mind with truth.
Desire and pursue understanding. The word ‘understanding’ in Greek is ‘synesis’ and it means “a mental putting together” (1). In other words, when we understand, we begin to perceive and interpret correctly; we connect the precepts, truths, and council of Scripture and understand how God reveals Himself through it. We begin to see how Scripture supports itself. God’s word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11).
Live a life worthy of the Lord. We have to make the conscious choice to put ourselves aside and live for Him. If we are forever pursuing our own happiness, we will be exhausted in the pursuit- it’s a perpetual cycle that goes nowhere and achieves nothing of eternal satisfaction. We will continue to be dissatisfied, disillusioned and unfulfilled. We must seek Him. “But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6
Who or what are we allowing to govern our mind? Pursue life. Pursue Peace. Pursue Jesus. Sit at His feet. Let Him speak into your soul. Live for Him and allow Him to fill that which is lacking in you. You will know a deep satisfaction and a fellowship like no other. You will be filled.
”Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.”Psalm 73:25-26
Take time in prayer that God would fill you with a desire for more of Him and would guide you in pursuit of that relationship. Then, pray for others to do the same. Pray for your family, your sons and daughters. Pray for your loved ones. Pray for your church and the global church at large. Pray for those in ministry. Satan wants nothing more than to have God’s people seeking that which will not satisfy and living in frustration because God isn’t fulfilling their misdirected desires.
Prayer is never pointless and it brings us to the Throne of the One who can effect change and bring all things under His Lordship where we can delight in fellowship with the One who made us.
Pray without ceasing.
G4907 - synesis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g4907/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G2556 - kakos - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g2556/niv/mgnt/0-1/
Forgive, and then, Forgive More
“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Matthew 6:12
Debts: opheilema (Greek) that which is owed; an offense or sin. (1)
Consider this: withholding love and forgiveness from someone because of hurt they've caused us may seem justified...we want them to acknowledge just how much they hurt us. We want them to earn our forgiveness. Oh, we 'plan to offer forgiveness' once they've proven themselves sorry enough and we consider that being the 'bigger person'. We rationalize our stance based upon our rightness (and our level of hurt) and upon calling the other 'up' to what is right.
But that isn't what Christ calls us to do. He tells us to forgive, and forgive more. If He withheld His love from us until we were sorry enough and worthy enough, we'd never know His forgiveness. We are not deserving of His redemption. He saved us because He loves us. Do we love enough to forgive?
Pray about having a forgiving heart and then, forgive. Forgive again. And keep on forgiving, because it’s what God does for us. You see, forgiveness isn’t about being right. It’s not about holding others accountable. It’s about freeing our own heart to be right with God and to hear His voice because we’ve quieted our own by His truth.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-13
“Oh, Heavenly Father, You love us so deeply and far too often, we don’t comprehend the depth of Your love, nor the cost of forgiveness that You extend to us so freely. The depth of the dirtiness and depravity of our own sin is often lost on us. We see ourselves as ‘not THAT bad’, yet all of our perceived righteousness is as filthy rags, impure, soiled, and good for nothing. It can’t purchase our forgiveness- we don’t deserve it. We are hell-bound yet righteous in our own eyes.”
“Lord Jesus, give us a true picture of our sin and lostness. Help us to see that we are so undeserving and, in seeing how lost we are, help us to see how Your redemption is perfect, eternal, unchanging, abundant and FREE. We don’t deserve it, yet You extend it. We can’t earn it, yet You give it to us freely. Help us to see just how much You’ve given and how greatly You forgive, and then prick our hearts with compassion. Convict us to want to forgive others quickly and completely. Remind us that forgiveness is not a ‘feeling’ but a choice, an action, and a willingness to allow You to be the judge and hold the ‘other’ accountable. Remind us that if we want to be like You, Jesus, we will forgive even those who don’t understand how they’ve hurt us.”
“Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’” Luke 23:34
“Holy Spirit, fill us with more of You so that we willingly forgive others. Free us from the bondage of unforgiveness that poisons us and makes it difficult to hear Your voice and obey Your will. Give us strength and conviction to extend forgiveness to others, not with a “yes, but..” rather, with an “I already have, I love you.” Help us to forgive others, just as you forgave us, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing. Forgive without stopping. Love others generously. Be like Jesus.
G3783 - opheilēma - Strong's Greek Lexicon (nasb95). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3783/nasb95/mgnt/0-1/