Building a Godly Life
A rite of passage for young adults is moving out of their parent’s home and into their own place. We all know it’s coming someday, but when the day arrives, it’s bittersweet because for us as parents, it marks the end of a season. We step away from the ‘active parenting role’ and into the unfamiliar territory of parenting an adult. We no longer tell them what to do or how to do it (but if they ask, we’re happy to share). Our own agenda, calendar, and priorities are no longer the guidepost for their days and cannot dictate what they do, where they go, and when they interact with us or others. We can (and do) offer wisdom and guidance, but their decision making is their own. They have a job and they’re building a home and a life. It is important that we respect their adulthood while still offering wise words in discerning ways at appropriate times. (Oh that there was a manual for this stage!)
And though we won’t hear the laughter coming from their room or enjoy the unexpected conversations when they walk in and plop on the sofa at the end of the day, telling us all about their day, we’ll still enjoy the relationship. The conversations will unfold differently and, perhaps more deeply. The relationship shifts from the parent caring for a dependent child to that of a parent encouraging an adult son or daughter (note, we didn’t use the word ‘child’). And, of course, we will keep praying…always. Because, although they’re no longer occupying our house, they’ll never stop occupying our heart.
We recently launched our youngest into her own place. When she moved out of our home, we gave her the things we no longer needed or wanted. She furnished her home with second-hand furniture, thrift store finds and things collected from family and friends. Often, our sons and daughters have an idea of how they want their space to ‘look’ and they pay a lot of attention to that. But the more important thing is the foundation of their life- how does that look? Is it solid? Does it fit a life that is Biblically sound?
Building a life requires wisdom (we know that young adults have some wisdom…but wisdom comes with years and experience…they’ll figure that out at some point). As much as we help them find the physical items they need for their home, the spiritual aspects are even more vital as they live as independent adults. Our job now, as parents and mentors, is to pray intentionally that the home and life they build is one founded on Godly wisdom and truth.
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4
The following are prayer points that we can pray for our sons and daughters as they establish themselves in adulthood (and in the new neighborhood)
Pray that they are intentional to spend time in God’s Word daily- reading, learning, gaining wisdom and knowledge.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
2. Pray that they would have spiritual discernment and always look to the Lord for wisdom and protection.
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O sovereign Lord; in You I take refuge- do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by insafety. “
Psalm 141:8-10
3. Pray that they find a good church in which to settle, learn, grow and have fellowship and accountability. It’s easy to drift away from the habit of going to church.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
4. Pray that their friendships and any spouse-potential relationship would be God-honoring, that those they surround themselves with, spend time with, and whom they allow to build into their life would be Christ-followers who desire to please God more than anyone else.
“I am a companion of all who fear you, of those who keep your precepts.” Psalm 119:63
5. Then, let’s pray over them daily, that the Lord would guide their steps, protect them from harm and from those who would deceive them, and provide for them both physically and spiritually. Pray that they would desire more of Him and would see His hand in their life.
“Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.” Psalm 119:35
“Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.” Psalm 119:133
Today, let’s pray Psalm 121 over our sons and daughters:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
Pray without ceasing
Extravagant Provision, Abundant Protection
“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” Psalm 23:5
(rich provision, mighty protection, filling Presence)
A banquet on the battlefield. It’s a sit-down affair, not a grab-and-go meal. God isn’t in a hurry to move us away from our enemies. He’s powerful enough to protect us from their aggression. Instead, God chooses to honor and celebrate His child, in the midst of it all. He doesn’t wait until ‘things are better’, He pours out His rich blessings on us right where we are! That’s our God!
He is mighty and able to hold off the fray and still be Present with us to sit down to a proper meal where it is safe to sit and eat and enjoy His abundance. Imagine the conversation at the table! Oh friends, God prepares good things for us despite the evil world we live in. He doesn’t make us wait until the battle is over- He wants us to open our mouths wide and savor His goodness now! We just have to be alongside Him, present with Him, listening to His instructions and trusting in His strong protection. It’s safe to sit and eat- He’s already won the battle!
Do we encourage our sons and daughters with the victory cry, or do we just sit and cry, worry, fret, and fuss because there are enemies present? Are we settling ourselves in the Lord’s Presence to fill ourselves with Him or are we too stressed (obsessed) and anxious to eat at the Lord’s banquet? Oh how sad that would be- because our God prepares a spread like no other! He wants us to take our fill of His rich blessings and provisions and that means we must fully trust and rest in what He’s doing…even if we can’t see it. He is ever-present, all-knowing, and isn’t constrained by time or location. He is the ultimate Protector and slayer of demons and darkness. He doesn’t need us to worry. He doesn’t need us to fuss or cry. And He certainly doesn’t need us to tell Him how to watch over our sons and daughters. He just wants us to sit at His table, enjoy His presence, savor His provision, and rest in Him. Let’s gather at His table and enjoy His company!
Let's pray that our sons and daughters (and that we) learn how to enjoy the Lord's Presence even in the midst of the battles of this life.
“Oh, Father, how easy it is for us to get distracted by the evil around us. We worry and fret. We fix our eyes on what we can see and that unnerves us and makes us afraid. We fear for our sons and daughters because we love them so. We worry about their safety and their security. We keep ourselves awake at night with all of the “what-ifs”, when all the while there is a beautiful banquet spread for us, just waiting for us to come, sit and partake of Your goodness. Help us to exhibit good habits for those we love. How can we encourage them to trust and obey if we can’t do that ourselves? Lord, move and work in my own heart, then do the same in (name)’s heart. You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Help us not live in fear but in faith and confidence. Remind us that You are the Victor! You already won the battle. The enemy holds no power over us. We can sit down at Your table and savor the rich blessings You provide for us. You’ve prepared a table for us - help us to accept the invitation to come and fellowship with You. Lord, fill our mouths, our hearts, our minds with Your praise- sweet as honey and satisfying to the soul. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Savor the goodness of our God.
Pray without ceasing.
Green Pastures, Still Waters
“He makes me lie down in green pastures,” Psalm 23:2
(rest, satisfying our hunger)
“Rabas-'' to cause to lie down, stretch out; [term] used of quadrupeds, which lie on their breast with their feet tucked under them.” (1)
When our children were young, we often made them lie down for a nap because we knew they needed rest. It was good for them and refreshing. We’d peek in on them to see them stretched out or curled up, snug in their bed and secure in their safety because they knew we were present to protect them. They didn’t feel the need to sleep in a pose that would have them ready to defend themselves because they rested in our watchful protection. “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8 God is our watch-care Shepherd. He leads us to safe places where we can rest and be refreshed without concern of the enemy.
The green pastures are not just for rest, though. God uses them to satisfy our hunger with good nutrition. When we follow our Shepherd we are spiritually filled and satisfied beyond anything this world could supply. Matthew 5:6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”
Parents, we need to live by example and show our sons and daughters that we, too, find our spiritual nutrition in the ‘green pastures’ to which the Lord leads us. We set an example for our sons and daughters to not fill up on the ‘junk food’ of this world but to fill ourselves with the lush spiritual truths from Scripture. And how satisfying that is!
“Great Creator, Lord of all, Jehovah Provider, I pray that (name) would feast on the abundance of Your table each day. Help them to satiate their hunger on the Truth of Your Word and savor the beauty of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Let them develop a distinguished spiritual palate that is put off by ‘processed’ and ‘fake’ foods that wouldn’t nourish them. Give them discernment about what they would choose to spiritually ingest so that what they consume is life-giving and strength-sustaining, ensuring they are properly nourished so they can follow You well. Lord, give them rest in Your pastures, free from predators who would seek to deceive them and pull them from Your flock. Surround them with Your protection, Lord, and help them rest secure in the salvation You offer.”
“He leads me beside quiet waters,” Ps 23:3
(refreshment, quenching our thirst)
Sheep don’t swim well at all. In fact, they’re afraid of moving water because, even in their simplicity, they understand that their wool, soaked with water, would quickly drag them under and the current would carry them off. God has given them the instinct to know that fast-moving water is a threat. Deep water and strong currents are deadly.
God gives us the Holy Spirit to warn us away from those things that would drag us down and carry us off, as well. Our Shepherd leads us beside quiet waters where we can drink our fill and be quenched without fear. He knows what is best. But we have to trust His leadership and listen to His voice. You see, sometimes still water runs deep, and well-under the surface are strong currents that could put us in danger. We need to trust the Shepherd and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit to ensure we’re protected and drinking deeply from waters that are best for us. When our sons and daughters look to find a church, and fellowship with other believers, we need to pray that the Holy Spirit leads them to refreshing waters that don’t have an undercurrent that distorts or defies Scripture. Pray that He leads them to a fellowship that isn’t all about a man-leader, but all about God and His Word. We need to pray that He leads our sons and daughters to quiet waters where they can learn and be refreshed. Isaiah 49:10 “They will neither hunger nor thirst. The searing sun will not reach them anymore. For the LORD in His mercy will lead them; He will lead them beside cool waters.”
“Father, God, You watch us closely and lead us carefully. You desire that we would find rest and refreshment in You, but to do that, we need to trust You and listen to Your voice. We need to depend on and be submitted to the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us to teaching and learning that is God-honoring and true to Your Word. I pray that (name) would find a church home and a fellowship of believers who follow their Shepherd without compromise and cling to His Word with all the strength You provide. Lord, keep them from dangerous currents that would carry them off to apostasy, to deception and to following their own heart- which is deceitful above all things. Help (name) to follow Your heart, to trust Your leading, and to drink their full of the refreshment of Scripture each day. Give them a deep spiritual thirst for Your Truth and the careful discernment to quench that only with what You provide- no substitutions. Sustain them, Lord, by Your provision and protection, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Let’s pray that our sons and daughters continue to pursue true refreshment and rest in Christ and that they would not look to the world to satisfy those longings within, but would turn to Jesus to be their Provider, Sustainer, and Source of Life. Pray that they would drink deeply of the Living Water that quenches our ever-present spiritual thirst. Only Jesus can satisfy. Pray that they trust and follow their Shepherd into green pastures and still waters.
Pray without ceasing
H7257 - rāḇaṣ - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h7257/kjv/wlc/0-1/
Psalm 145:13-16
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.
Abba Father, how encouraging it is to know and be confident that the God we love and follow is eternal?! Lord, there is nothing that can shake your Kingdom- that is so reassuring. When our world seems to unravel around us, we can know without a doubt that Your Kingdom is secure and because of that, our future is secure. I pray that You would encourage (name) today with that truth. Give them confidence to know that nothing will ever push You from the Throne. No King will ever topple Your kingdom and no authority will ever exceed Your power and dominion. You are faithful to all of Your promises- we can be sure You will bring each one to pass.. Remind us of that today, Lord. Remind us of Your love. I pray that (name) would rest secure in Who You are and in how You love them.
14 The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
Thank You, Father, that you are strong enough to hold us when we falter and fall. You won’t let us go. You see our struggle and our weakness. You see when we stumble and when we fall. You are there beside us when life is too hard and You reach down and lift us up. We can’t do it ourselves and that’s why You are God and we are not. I pray that (name) would see Your strength, protection and Your closeness today. Let there be no shadow of turning. Lord, grab their attention and help them to see that You ARE there and You know all that they face, even if they hold it close to their heart without telling anyone. Lord, You see the darkness and the struggle and depression. You see the sin, the pride, the addiction. And You are strong enough to battle it all and lift us up, clean us off and set us back on our feet. (Name) needs to believe it, Lord. Work in their heart today. Let them know YOU are the rescue they need and the only One who is strong enough to win the battle, overcome the obstacle and lift the burden. Work in (name)’s heart today. Uphold them. Lift them. Love them, Lord.
15 The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
I pray that (name) would look to You and no other. Help them to see that You, and only You, are the provider of peace, the remedy to the sick heart and broken mind, the lifter of the fallen and the healer of the broken. Remind them that Your timing is perfect. You are never early and never too late. Your clock runs differently than ours and although we’re impatient and have a sense of urgency, Your perfect will always is best. Help us to submit to that. Help us to wait, Lord. Psalm 27:14 tells us to “wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” So, instead of growing more impatient and losing our focus and our temper, help us to be strong and take heart while we wait for Your proper time. You will not fail us, Lord!
16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.
Psalm 37:4 tells us that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, that You will give us the desires of our heart. If we delight ourselves in You, our desire will be to know You more, to obey You, to be like Jesus and honor You with our lives. I pray that today that (name) would delight themselves in You and that You would open Your hand and satisfy those desires. Grow (name) into a man/woman after Your own heart. May their desires please You and when You open Your hand, spiritual blessings pour out on (name) and fill them to overflowing. I pray this in Jesus’ name, amen.
Pray without ceasing