Praying for a Godly Spouse
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:10-12
As our sons and daughters grow into adulthood, our ability to impact their choices begins to diminish. We hope and pray that the things we taught them about God, about Scripture, about living a life that pleases the Lord, are deeply rooted. But we no longer have the ability to steer them away from influences that may be negative or unproductive and we have little say in the friends they choose, especially if they’re living at a distance. Parenting adult children is challenging.
When it comes to finding a spouse, there are challenges there, too. Though we hope our son or daughter would choose to make their decision based on our discernment and approval, by the time the relationship reaches that point, our beloved child may have already made up their mind… our input is just a formality. That’s hard to take, isn’t it?
But we’re not powerless! Not at all. We can make a huge impact on their life choices by talking to the Father and asking for His guidance, His intervention, and His protection. We can ask the He would give our son or daughter His best- better than we could choose or imagine!
So, how do we pray? Many of us likely began praying when our children were just little ones, praying that God would be preparing a godly husband or wife for them. Here’s the thing, don’t stop. Don’t stop praying like that. God will bring the right person at the right time, or make it clear He has a plan that asks our son or daughter to remain single. We need to be okay with that. We need to pray that our children would be okay with whatever God asks of them, too. Because isn’t that the best?
Here are some prayer points we can pray for both future husbands and future wives, and for our sons and daughters, all tied to Scripture.
Pray that they would be like Christ and that He would mold them and shape their heart and mind to be like Him. (Philippians 2:5; Ephesians 4:14-15)
Ask the Lord to make their words (and heart) authentic, not just filled with knowledge, but seasoned with grace (I Corinthians 13:1; Colossians 4:6)
Pray they would exhibit patience and kindness (1 Corinthians 13:4)
they would not be jealous or envious, but truly want the best for others and would celebrate when they have success or honor (1 Corinthians 13:4; Romans 12:15)
Ask God to help them value others before themselves (Philippians 2:3)
Pray that they would have a precise and correct knowledge of Scripture that would enable them to love others well (not to be puffed up with knowledge) and that they would be discerning in the teaching they listen to and the leaders they follow. (Philippians 1:9)
Pray that they would hide God’s word in their heart to keep them from sin (Psalm 119:11)
And pray that God’s word would be a lamp to their feet and a light to their path (Psalm 119:105)
Pray God’s protection over them, so they would keep their way pure by living according to God’s word (Psalm 119:9)
Ask the Lord to keep them legalism and that He would help them truly understand God’s grace and the freedom He gives to trust Jesus alone for salvation (Ephesians 2:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).
Pray that they would not lean into the world’s standards or be pressured to compromise to be accepted, but that they would stand for God’s truth, unwaveringly. (Hebrews 10:23)
Ultimately, pray that God would cultivate two people who, together, would have a godly marriage that would reflect Christ and the Church, surrender and obedience, love and protection, selflessness and sacrifice no matter the circumstances, because their hope is in Jesus and not in the other person to whom they are married.
There are so many things we can pray to this end; this is just the start. Add to the list as you pray and let the Holy Spirit guide your words and your petitions. The words of Scripture are always powerful and effective, it is the most you can do. Let’s God’s word do the speaking for you.
And pray for both the ‘unknown’ future spouse and for your son or daughter, that God would prepare their hearts and cultivate in them the qualities that are important for a God-centered relationship to be developed in His time and His way.
If your son or daughter is already married, pray that God would grow them in these areas. Pray that He would build a strong, God-honoring marriage that would be a testimony of His grace and redemption.
Why not write out a prayer, and then, when the time is right, share it with the one for whom you’ve been praying. What a precious gift that could be for the ‘other’, knowing that they’ve been prayed for and seeing the Scripture that’s been spoken over them, even before they were known to you.
Pray without ceasing!