The Blessing and Gift of Grief
Grief is heavy.
It’s an experience we would rather avoid.
When we encounter others who are grieving, we’re often at a loss for words. We’re uncomfortable with the heaviness and we’re ill-equipped to help others handle their loss. It’s deeply personal and life-altering. We don’t know how to make it better or relieve the pain… we can’t.
Grief is hard.
Many of us have encountered loss and endured grief in our lives. As parents, we do our best to shield our children from that pain, yet, we can’t fully protect them from it. Jesus tells us in John 16:33, ““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Grief will come. It will hurt. It doesn’t just bruise you, it’s an amputation that leaves you forever changed. It will disorient you and you’ll be convinced that it will suffocate you.
Psalm 31:9 “Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.” (NIV)
But if you lean in closely, you will hear the Lord whisper. You may feel like you live in the shadows, but they are the shadows of His wings, covering you until you’re ready for anything else.
Psalm 91:1-2, 4 “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” (NIV)
Grief means that vivid memories may bring streams of tears or an ache so deep that we weep at the pain. But God assures us that collects each one of our tears and records the reason for the pain and grief…He doesn’t forget.
Psalm 56:8 “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (NLT)
And one day, God tells us He will wipe away every tear and we’ll no longer grieve. Death and loss will be no more.
Revelation 21:4 “‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”” (NIV)
And all the while, if we’re willing, if we trust Him, we will grow deeper in our understanding of His heart.
Grief can be a gift because it shakes us out of a false sense of comfort and belonging here in this world. Suddenly we’re confronted with everything not being okay. We are shaken by the pain that greets us each morning and sticks with us through each day. We are cognizant of something beyond this life…and the eternity that God placed in our hearts suddenly becomes real, tangible and stirs a longing unlike anything we’ve ever felt before (Ecc. 3:11). If we’re willing, it can be the thing that draws us so much deeper into a walk with the Lord. He gives the peace that passes understanding (Phil 4:7). He gives strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. He gives and will give more. God doesn’t do this to deprive us, He does this to demonstrate how much more waits for us…if we trust Him (Eph. 3:18-20). He will restore our losses and comfort our broken hearts.
Personally speaking, without the deep grief I’ve endured, I don’t know that I would long for heaven. Without grief I don’t know that I would understand the deep, abiding comfort of my Savior. Without grief, I would still be enjoying all that life has to offer with little thought to my eternity. But now, eternity is so real, life is so fleeting, my love for God is deeper and more vibrant than before I tasted grief and loss.
Grief can be a gift if we trust the Lord enough to let Him walk us through it. He’s walked that path. He knows grief and He longs to walk alongside us as we lean into Him.
Isaiah 53:3-5 “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” (ESV)
Jesus understands our grief. He bore it on the cross. Go to Him, fall at His feet. Pour out your heart and rest in His shadow. He is always enough. And when you begin to see the glimmer of life again and you begin to breathe again, you’ll see that the gift of grief is held by the nail-scarred hands of the Savior who loves you so. Cling tightly.
Pray without ceasing.