Praying for a Godly Spouse
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:10-12
As our sons and daughters grow into adulthood, our ability to impact their choices begins to diminish. We hope and pray that the things we taught them about God, about Scripture, about living a life that pleases the Lord, are deeply rooted. But we no longer have the ability to steer them away from influences that may be negative or unproductive and we have little say in the friends they choose, especially if they’re living at a distance. Parenting adult children is challenging.
When it comes to finding a spouse, there are challenges there, too. Though we hope our son or daughter would choose to make their decision based on our discernment and approval, by the time the relationship reaches that point, our beloved child may have already made up their mind… our input is just a formality. That’s hard to take, isn’t it?
But we’re not powerless! Not at all. We can make a huge impact on their life choices by talking to the Father and asking for His guidance, His intervention, and His protection. We can ask the He would give our son or daughter His best- better than we could choose or imagine!
So, how do we pray? Many of us likely began praying when our children were just little ones, praying that God would be preparing a godly husband or wife for them. Here’s the thing, don’t stop. Don’t stop praying like that. God will bring the right person at the right time, or make it clear He has a plan that asks our son or daughter to remain single. We need to be okay with that. We need to pray that our children would be okay with whatever God asks of them, too. Because isn’t that the best?
Here are some prayer points we can pray for both future husbands and future wives, and for our sons and daughters, all tied to Scripture.
Pray that they would be like Christ and that He would mold them and shape their heart and mind to be like Him. (Philippians 2:5; Ephesians 4:14-15)
Ask the Lord to make their words (and heart) authentic, not just filled with knowledge, but seasoned with grace (I Corinthians 13:1; Colossians 4:6)
Pray they would exhibit patience and kindness (1 Corinthians 13:4)
they would not be jealous or envious, but truly want the best for others and would celebrate when they have success or honor (1 Corinthians 13:4; Romans 12:15)
Ask God to help them value others before themselves (Philippians 2:3)
Pray that they would have a precise and correct knowledge of Scripture that would enable them to love others well (not to be puffed up with knowledge) and that they would be discerning in the teaching they listen to and the leaders they follow. (Philippians 1:9)
Pray that they would hide God’s word in their heart to keep them from sin (Psalm 119:11)
And pray that God’s word would be a lamp to their feet and a light to their path (Psalm 119:105)
Pray God’s protection over them, so they would keep their way pure by living according to God’s word (Psalm 119:9)
Ask the Lord to keep them legalism and that He would help them truly understand God’s grace and the freedom He gives to trust Jesus alone for salvation (Ephesians 2:8; 2 Timothy 1:9).
Pray that they would not lean into the world’s standards or be pressured to compromise to be accepted, but that they would stand for God’s truth, unwaveringly. (Hebrews 10:23)
Ultimately, pray that God would cultivate two people who, together, would have a godly marriage that would reflect Christ and the Church, surrender and obedience, love and protection, selflessness and sacrifice no matter the circumstances, because their hope is in Jesus and not in the other person to whom they are married.
There are so many things we can pray to this end; this is just the start. Add to the list as you pray and let the Holy Spirit guide your words and your petitions. The words of Scripture are always powerful and effective, it is the most you can do. Let’s God’s word do the speaking for you.
And pray for both the ‘unknown’ future spouse and for your son or daughter, that God would prepare their hearts and cultivate in them the qualities that are important for a God-centered relationship to be developed in His time and His way.
If your son or daughter is already married, pray that God would grow them in these areas. Pray that He would build a strong, God-honoring marriage that would be a testimony of His grace and redemption.
Why not write out a prayer, and then, when the time is right, share it with the one for whom you’ve been praying. What a precious gift that could be for the ‘other’, knowing that they’ve been prayed for and seeing the Scripture that’s been spoken over them, even before they were known to you.
Pray without ceasing!
Despising a Vile Man
Psalm 15:1-4
Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain?
The one whose walk is blameless, who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from their heart;
and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,
who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts,
We live in a world of opposites, don’t we? What is right is often ridiculed as being wrong, antiquated or intolerant and what is actually wrong and sinful is celebrated and exalted as the standard to follow. Scripture tells us we should despise a vile man, yet this world will tell us that word is strong and should have no place in our lives. “Tolerance” is the word of the day.
So what exactly IS a vile man? A vile man is one who rejects or spurns the Lord. It is the opposite of one who accepts Jesus (1)
And what does it mean to despise? Strong’s defines this as holding in contempt, to disdain, not honor or admire (2) Consider a court of law. When someone speaks out against the judge or dishonors the trial process, they are held in contempt of court. “Contempt of court, also referred to simply as “contempt”, is the disobedience of an order of a court. It is also conduct tending to obstruct or interfere with the orderly administration of justice” (3). Someone who is in contempt is not honored or celebrated, they’re reprimanded. Yet, this world celebrates those in contempt of Christ- those who go against His rules of justice and righteousness.
But God tells us this:
We should hate sin and hate anything that is contrary to God, “To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” Proverbs 8:13
We are called to stand for the Lord, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” Ephesians 6:13
We are called to defend our faith, “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,” 1 Peter3:15
We are strangers here and should be seen as in this world, but not of it, “I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.” John 17:14-16.
We need to live as we are called, and not embrace the sin around us, but be separate, “ Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.” 1 John 2:15-17)
We can’t be followers of Christ and approving of, celebrating, excusing or tolerating things that go against God and His word. That’s being double-minded and will lead to instability in our faith (James 4:8).
And if we’re followers of Christ, we must stand by our commitment to Him, not waffle or wither when opposition comes (and it will) we must stand by our oath and be faithful to our commitment to God. (I Peter 1:6-7)
Finally, we need to honor those who fear the Lord. But we must be watchful and careful because there are many who claim to fear God, yet they use His word and His name to do ungodly things. Discretion must be at play here and we need to be cautious we’re not lifting up those who are doing sinful things and hiding behind their ego, their knowledge of Scripture and their ability to manipulate others. Friends, those would be considered vile men because they are not serving God, but themselves. Just because they are popular doesn’t mean they are Godly.
There is so much to ponder in Psalm 15:4. Today, let’s pray that our sons and daughters despise anything that rejects or stands in opposition to God and His word. We’re not called to be tolerant of sin. We’re called to stand for Truth. Then, pray that our sons and daughters have discretion to know and discern who truly is a follower of Jesus and that they do not misplace honor that should not be given. Finally, pray that they would stand firm in their faith, not turning back on their commitment to God but keeping their conviction, even in the face of opposition, persecution and trial.
“Father God, Sovereign of the Universe, You chose us according to your foreknowledge for sanctification through the Holy Spirit for obedience to Jesus. Give (name) strength and conviction today to hold to that commitment to follow Christ. I pray that You would help (name) to be uncomfortable with sin. When something is wrong- contrary to Your word, I pray that (name) would turn away, not defend it and not celebrate it. Give them integrity to stand for Truth even in the face of opposition. Give (name) the ability to love others as Jesus loves, but disdain the sin and the rebellion that is present. I pray You would also give (name) discretion to know the difference between someone who simply spouts scripture versus someone who lives it out. Lord, help them to follow You, not people or preachers or teachers. Lord, we know this world will continue to worsen and sin will continue to corrupt. Satan’s time is short and he’s doing all he can to destroy. Lord, protect (name) from the enemy. Keep them from being influenced by sin and evil. Guard them in Your love and strength so they will stand in the day of salvation (1 Peter 1:3-9). I pray this all in Jesus’ name, amen.”
Pray without ceasing, friends.
H3988 - mā'as - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h3988/niv/wlc/0-1/
H959 - bāzâ - Strong's Hebrew Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h959/niv/wlc/0-1/
Legal Information Institute. (n.d.). Contempt of court. Legal Information Institute. Retrieved June 12, 2022, from https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/contempt_of_court
That One Thing
Psalm 89:6-8 “For who in the skies above can compare with the Lord? Who is like the Lord among the heavenly beings? In the council of the holy ones God is greatly feared; he is more awesome than all who surround him. Who is like you, Lord God Almighty? You, Lord, are mighty, and your faithfulness surrounds you.”
In a world where everything seems to be a competition to be ‘bigger’ ‘better’ ‘smarter’...the list goes on and on telling us what we should want…what we need, what the ‘hottest gifts are. Too often we’re searching for that ‘one thing’ that will bring contentment and fulfillment, but what we really need is the Lord and a singular passion for and commitment to Him.
We need to stop and refocus on what truly is most important. But in seasons like this, that’s hard. Most of what we’re drawn into is counterproductive to being still and knowing God. So much to do! So little time! We’ll never be done or ready… But really, the question should be, are we ready to meet the Lord?
More than ever, we need to pause and take stock of our life and of our eternity that hangs in the balance. Here’s the question…are our sons and daughters mindful of where they stand with the Lord, God Almighty? Does it give them pause to ponder their choices, their actions and who and what they choose to live for and love?
Far too often, we get easily distracted. We become consumed with life and comfort here on Earth. Especially as we head into the Christmas season, those distractions often intensify and we can run ourselves ragged tying to ‘do’ all the things and ‘buy’ all the things, when, all the time, we need to be focused on the ONE thing- our Mighty God and His desire for our whole heart.
Today, let’s just stop and pray for our sons and daughters that they would realize that God requires their full attention and allegiance. Pray that they would look up, not around. Pray that they would not be distracted by all the ‘glitter’ of the season but would be committed to the Reason, Jesus.
Christmas Season Challenge: When you see an advertisement for the ‘hottest item’ this season, pray for those people who are running after those things- seeking joy and fulfillment. Pray that they would see their need for Jesus and would pursue Him with all they have and all they are.
Pray without ceasing.