How Should We Pray?
“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments.” Colossians 2:2-4
The way we pray matters. What we pray matters. The apostle Paul understood that and wrote encouragement to the Colossians so they would stay focused on what would protect and grow their faith.
When we pray for our sons and daughters, we pray for their health and well-being. We pray for safety and provision. But how often do we pray for their growth and discernment? Do we pray for the protection of their mind and for a deepening of their knowledge and understanding? Those are things we cannot see, but which have significant impact on the spiritual health of the believer.
Scripture tells us that the mind is the deceiver's biggest battleground. If Satan can capture our thoughts, the rest will follow.
“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12
Satan hates that we have redemption and eternal life in Jesus Christ. He hates our Savior. He hates light. He hates truth. He wants to lure believers to dwell in darkness and in ignorance of Who Christ is, what He has done and in misunderstanding of truth. Do you see how he twists things? What is good is deemed evil and what is evil is celebrated (isaiah 5:20).
So how can we pray more effectively for our sons and daughters? How can we begin to fight for their spiritual protection and growth? We can start by gaining a better understanding of Scripture and then praying those very words on their behalf. Scripture is powerful and effective and it can accomplish more than our minds can comprehend.
Let’s look at what Paul is praying for the Colossians.
He prays they would be encouraged in heart:
Paul knew the value of being in fellowship with other believers. The Greek word for ‘encouraged’ is parakaleo and it means to come alongside another, to comfort, exhort, pray for another (1). The Holy Spirit is called the ‘paraklete’ and is our supporter and comforter (John 14:26). And so believers have that role for one another- to build each other up and provide encouragement. Pray for fellowship with other believers.
He instructs them that true encouragement must be united, or knit together in love- agape.
The term ‘knit together’ is the Greek word symbibazo and it means to “to join together, unite or knit together in affection”(2). When we truly care for one another we want the best for each other. It’s hard to find deep connections with someone for whom you don’t get along or with whom you have nothing in common. But believers have faith in Christ in common- God has made us brothers and sisters in Christ! We are family and we are driven together by the love of God. That connection sustains and encourages us as we continue our walk of faith. Pray for authentic love among believers.
He longs for them to have full riches of complete understanding:
It’s important that we pray that our sons and daughters have assurance that their faith in Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Life and confidence that there is no other belief system, path, or alternate ‘wisdom’ that can bring redemption and eternal life.
The Greek word plerophoria is the word used for understanding and it means “full assurance and the most certain confidence (3). Let’s pray that our sons and daughters have confidence in their understanding of Scripture and in their faith and conviction that Jesus is Lord.
Paul stresses that the Colossians would know Christ- the Source of all wisdom and knowledge.
We don’t want our sons and daughters to just know about Christ, we want them to KNOW Him. We want them to experience Him in their life. We want them to pursue a personal relationship with Him so that they will comprehend the riches of wisdom and knowledge that are found in Him. We don’t want them to just have knowledge. Even Satan has knowledge, but he is doomed. Even demons believe and shudder at the Truth of Jesus. No, we want our sons and daughters to have true knowledge. There is a difference in the original language. Knowledge is the word gnosis and it means intelligence and understanding(4). But true knowledge is the word epignosis and it means precise and correct knowledge(5). It means one is believing and understanding what is proven to be true, correct, and in line with evidence. It is knowledge that changes how someone lives.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ--to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
Finally, pray for protection against deception.
Pray that our sons and daughters would have deep understanding and knowledge of Scripture and their faithful walk with Christ and fellowship with believers would guard them against deception. There is much out there that sounds good but is founded in lies. There are people who have knowledge of Scripture (gnosis) without the epignosis of faith in Jesus and the teaching and guidance of the Holy Spirit. The messaging that our sons and daughters are encountering daily would try to sway them to compromise their faith, lower their standards, be accepting of sin and open-minded to other ‘pathways’ to God. In the last days the deception will be so strong that, if possible, even the elect would be deceived (Matthew 24:24). Friends, we are there. The presence of the Holy Spirit in their lives and a correct knowledge of Jesus is the protection they need.
The enemy wants our sons and daughters. There is no question about that. We need to pray that they would be strong in their faith, solid in their understanding of Scripture, and rooted in fellowship with other believers. We are in a war- be on guard and use the armor of God to fight against the enemy.
“Father, I pray for (name) today. Build them up in their faith and knowledge of Jesus. Sanctify them by Your truth- Your Word is Truth (John 17:17). Lead them into a vibrant fellowship with other believers that is grounded in correct truth and solid teaching. Lord, they NEED You, though they may not always recognize that. I pray that You would open their eyes and hearts to the full riches of complete understanding. Keep them from sin. Guard them from compromise. Help them to stand steadfast in their faith. Guide them into Your truth and don’t let them walk away from it. Lord, we are in dark days and at some point soon, we may all have to stand boldly in the face of persecution- give us strength and conviction, Lord. Build up the family of believers so that we would encourage one another in love and faithfulness, In Jesus’s name I pray, amen.”
Pray without ceasing.
G3870 - parakaleō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g3870/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G4822 - symbibazō - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g4822/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G4136 - plērophoria - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g4136/niv/mgnt/0-1/
G1108 - gnōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (kjv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1108/kjv/tr/0-1/
G1922 - epignōsis - Strong's Greek Lexicon (niv). Retrieved from https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g1922/niv/mgnt/0-1/
Building a Godly Life
A rite of passage for young adults is moving out of their parent’s home and into their own place. We all know it’s coming someday, but when the day arrives, it’s bittersweet because for us as parents, it marks the end of a season. We step away from the ‘active parenting role’ and into the unfamiliar territory of parenting an adult. We no longer tell them what to do or how to do it (but if they ask, we’re happy to share). Our own agenda, calendar, and priorities are no longer the guidepost for their days and cannot dictate what they do, where they go, and when they interact with us or others. We can (and do) offer wisdom and guidance, but their decision making is their own. They have a job and they’re building a home and a life. It is important that we respect their adulthood while still offering wise words in discerning ways at appropriate times. (Oh that there was a manual for this stage!)
And though we won’t hear the laughter coming from their room or enjoy the unexpected conversations when they walk in and plop on the sofa at the end of the day, telling us all about their day, we’ll still enjoy the relationship. The conversations will unfold differently and, perhaps more deeply. The relationship shifts from the parent caring for a dependent child to that of a parent encouraging an adult son or daughter (note, we didn’t use the word ‘child’). And, of course, we will keep praying…always. Because, although they’re no longer occupying our house, they’ll never stop occupying our heart.
We recently launched our youngest into her own place. When she moved out of our home, we gave her the things we no longer needed or wanted. She furnished her home with second-hand furniture, thrift store finds and things collected from family and friends. Often, our sons and daughters have an idea of how they want their space to ‘look’ and they pay a lot of attention to that. But the more important thing is the foundation of their life- how does that look? Is it solid? Does it fit a life that is Biblically sound?
Building a life requires wisdom (we know that young adults have some wisdom…but wisdom comes with years and experience…they’ll figure that out at some point). As much as we help them find the physical items they need for their home, the spiritual aspects are even more vital as they live as independent adults. Our job now, as parents and mentors, is to pray intentionally that the home and life they build is one founded on Godly wisdom and truth.
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4
The following are prayer points that we can pray for our sons and daughters as they establish themselves in adulthood (and in the new neighborhood)
Pray that they are intentional to spend time in God’s Word daily- reading, learning, gaining wisdom and knowledge.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
2. Pray that they would have spiritual discernment and always look to the Lord for wisdom and protection.
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O sovereign Lord; in You I take refuge- do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by insafety. “
Psalm 141:8-10
3. Pray that they find a good church in which to settle, learn, grow and have fellowship and accountability. It’s easy to drift away from the habit of going to church.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
4. Pray that their friendships and any spouse-potential relationship would be God-honoring, that those they surround themselves with, spend time with, and whom they allow to build into their life would be Christ-followers who desire to please God more than anyone else.
“I am a companion of all who fear you, of those who keep your precepts.” Psalm 119:63
5. Then, let’s pray over them daily, that the Lord would guide their steps, protect them from harm and from those who would deceive them, and provide for them both physically and spiritually. Pray that they would desire more of Him and would see His hand in their life.
“Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.” Psalm 119:35
“Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.” Psalm 119:133
Today, let’s pray Psalm 121 over our sons and daughters:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
Pray without ceasing
Pray for the Body of Believers to live in genuine love.
John 13:35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.
Love: agape= affection, benevolence.
By THIS. By living in and showing love everyone will know we are a Christ follower.
Not by our knowledge. Not by our music. Not by our preaching or spiritual words. Not by our approval. Not by our service. But they will know because they see the evidence of our love toward one another and toward those around us. It’s a love that’s given freely, it’s not earned. It’s not to be used as leverage, it’s poured out generously. It doesn’t ask to be reciprocal and doesn’t wait for an equal exchange. They will know that we, the Church, the Body of Christ, are His followers because our love is unlike that of this world; it is God-generated and God-sustained.
Our sons and daughters need to understand the 'basics' of what Christ calls us to...and we as parents, role models, older believers, need to live it out so that they can clearly see what Christ means by this.
“Lord, please work in the Body of Christ today so that everything we say and do is motivated by and eclipsed by Godly love. I pray that we would not show love based on how others treat us, accept us, or affirm us, but that we would love unconditionally. Help us to love the unlovely. Help us to love when it’s not the natural response we might have. Help us to love as Jesus loved so that when others see us, they really see Him. Work in Your Church today. Help us to love like You love so that others will know we are Christ followers, not by our words, but by our actions. Build up Your Church, Lord. Protect us and deepen our walk with You so that as days grow darker, we can be salt and light to show others You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life, in Jesus’ name, Amen.”