Building a Godly Life
A rite of passage for young adults is moving out of their parent’s home and into their own place. We all know it’s coming someday, but when the day arrives, it’s bittersweet because for us as parents, it marks the end of a season. We step away from the ‘active parenting role’ and into the unfamiliar territory of parenting an adult. We no longer tell them what to do or how to do it (but if they ask, we’re happy to share). Our own agenda, calendar, and priorities are no longer the guidepost for their days and cannot dictate what they do, where they go, and when they interact with us or others. We can (and do) offer wisdom and guidance, but their decision making is their own. They have a job and they’re building a home and a life. It is important that we respect their adulthood while still offering wise words in discerning ways at appropriate times. (Oh that there was a manual for this stage!)
And though we won’t hear the laughter coming from their room or enjoy the unexpected conversations when they walk in and plop on the sofa at the end of the day, telling us all about their day, we’ll still enjoy the relationship. The conversations will unfold differently and, perhaps more deeply. The relationship shifts from the parent caring for a dependent child to that of a parent encouraging an adult son or daughter (note, we didn’t use the word ‘child’). And, of course, we will keep praying…always. Because, although they’re no longer occupying our house, they’ll never stop occupying our heart.
We recently launched our youngest into her own place. When she moved out of our home, we gave her the things we no longer needed or wanted. She furnished her home with second-hand furniture, thrift store finds and things collected from family and friends. Often, our sons and daughters have an idea of how they want their space to ‘look’ and they pay a lot of attention to that. But the more important thing is the foundation of their life- how does that look? Is it solid? Does it fit a life that is Biblically sound?
Building a life requires wisdom (we know that young adults have some wisdom…but wisdom comes with years and experience…they’ll figure that out at some point). As much as we help them find the physical items they need for their home, the spiritual aspects are even more vital as they live as independent adults. Our job now, as parents and mentors, is to pray intentionally that the home and life they build is one founded on Godly wisdom and truth.
“By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Proverbs 24:3-4
The following are prayer points that we can pray for our sons and daughters as they establish themselves in adulthood (and in the new neighborhood)
Pray that they are intentional to spend time in God’s Word daily- reading, learning, gaining wisdom and knowledge.
“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
2. Pray that they would have spiritual discernment and always look to the Lord for wisdom and protection.
“But my eyes are fixed on you, O sovereign Lord; in You I take refuge- do not give me over to death. Keep me from the snares they have laid for me, from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by insafety. “
Psalm 141:8-10
3. Pray that they find a good church in which to settle, learn, grow and have fellowship and accountability. It’s easy to drift away from the habit of going to church.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25
4. Pray that their friendships and any spouse-potential relationship would be God-honoring, that those they surround themselves with, spend time with, and whom they allow to build into their life would be Christ-followers who desire to please God more than anyone else.
“I am a companion of all who fear you, of those who keep your precepts.” Psalm 119:63
5. Then, let’s pray over them daily, that the Lord would guide their steps, protect them from harm and from those who would deceive them, and provide for them both physically and spiritually. Pray that they would desire more of Him and would see His hand in their life.
“Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight.” Psalm 119:35
“Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me.” Psalm 119:133
Today, let’s pray Psalm 121 over our sons and daughters:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
Pray without ceasing
Keep in Step with the Spirit
Have you ever watched a marching band? They keep in step with one another, following the lead of the drum major. They all move in sync with each another and to the rhythm of the music. Those who choose to be part of the band understand that it’s not a solo performance, but the success of the band depends on everyone keeping in step and following the director.
As believers, when we “live by the Spirit” it is a similar calling. God gifts each of us differently, but we are all called to follow Him and use our gifts to bring Him glory and honor as a family of believers. Living by the Spirit is a descriptor of our motivation and our goal. When we live by and for something, it is our focus and our purpose. If we are believers in Christ and trust in His death and resurrection as payment for our sin, we are dead to sin and alive in Christ. God calls us, He draws us and He stirs in us a desire to follow after Him. We’re not living ‘solo’ but for God.
Romans 6:8-11 “Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
When we cast the ‘old’ aside and live for Christ, the Holy Spirit lives in us and gives us a calling, a purpose, and helps us bear fruit. We no longer live for ourselves. We’re no longer bound by sin and death- they don’t rule over us any more. Are we still impacted by them? Yes, as long as we live in this fallen world, we’ll battle sin and we’ll face death...physical death. But we no longer face spiritual eternal death and sin doesn’t rule over us! We are alive in Christ!! The Holy Spirit indwells us and we are made more like Christ each day because of the Spirit’s work in our heart and mind.
Galatians 2:20 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
When we become believers in Christ, we live by the Spirit who indwells us. He transforms us. We begin bearing fruit that reflects Christ in us. Galatians 5:22-24 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.”
Oh, that our sons and daughters would live for Christ and keep in step with the Spirit!
Today, let’s pray these things:
Pray that our sons and daughters, first and foremost, would commit their lives to Jesus Christ and trust Him as their Lord and Savior
Pray that they live for Jesus and not for themselves. Pray that they would bear fruit that reflects His preeminence in their lives
Pray that they keep in step with the Spirit- walking in the Way that He shows them, obeying what He calls them to do and honoring Him with their choices.