Expectations: Be Real
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.” Psalm 90:17
How often do we read Scripture and pray that our son or daughter would emulate someone whose walk with God jumps out from the pages and impacts us deeply. We may dream and pray that our son shows the wisdom and integrity of Joseph or our daughter the faith and determination of Ruth. Perhaps we pray that God would raise up a Joshua in our family or that our daughters would be bold and brave like Esther.
It’s important that we learn from those God used throughout scripture to serve as examples to us. And we DO need to pray that our sons and daughters will grow in the wisdom and knowledge of Christ and that their lives would display the character and faith that evidences that growth. But, friends, we need to be mindful of the process.
“We want to see the faith of Joshua!”. That’s great…but do you realize that before Joshua was a ‘great man of God’…
Joshua witnessed God bring the plagues on Egypt…He saw God work miraculously.
He was with the Israelites when God parted the Red Sea; He experienced God’s supernatural intervention.
Joshua saw God bring water from the Rock and manna from heaven
He followed the Cloud by day and the Pillar of Fire by night- seeing God’s presence manifest before him.
He witnessed Moses raising the serpent in the wilderness.
He was there when Moses returned from the mountain and raised the tablets God gave him, introducing the 10 commandments.
Joshua was one of the 12 spies…and when he bravely entered the Promised Land to spy for Moses, he was approximately 40 years old (Joshua 14:7)
And, when Joshua stepped into leadership of Israel after Moses died, many scholars believe he was nearly 85 years old!
(http://www.biblecharts.org/thebible/interestingfactsaboutjoshua.pdf)
Joshua had an extraordinary example to follow in Moses. He witnessed miraculous things and endured hardship beyond what we will likely ever face. He was prepared by God over decades to step into a role of leadership only after nearly a century of listening, learning and obeying God.
Yes, we can pray that our sons will have the faith and boldness of Joshua, but we need to be realistic that it may take a lifetime and a “Moses” in their life before God brings them to that level of bold leadership. Let’s pray for God to work, but realize it may not happen quickly.
And then there is Ruth. Oh how we love her story! We take such joy in hearing her say in Ruth 1:16-17, ““Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me.”” Yet, do we really take account of all Ruth experienced that built her faith?
Her husband died.
Her brother-in-law and father-in-law both died as well.
She had no children.
She was without means to support herself. She was likely a perceived burden to her family as a young, childless widow with few prospects and a long life ahead.
Ruth faced a long journey with a mother-in-law who was struggling with her own will to live.
She chose to leave her country, her customs, her language and her family- all to follow Naomi, her mother-in-law, back to Israel, where she would be viewed as an unwelcome stranger and alien.
She was from Moab. She was one of ‘those’ whom God warned Israel against.
But wait, that’s not all…
Ruth and Naomi moved into a house that was ‘lifeless’ and neither had prospects of work or a way to get what they needed to survive…and they were women.
Ruth knew no one, she didn’t know “the neighborhood”, yet she went out each day, stepping out of her comfort zone to ‘glean’ in the fields of a stranger and faced being ostracized and mistreated by the locals who were also gleaning.
Ruth was totally dependent on a God she barely knew, yet she was willing to trust Him.
Ruth’s situation was not just hard, it was excruciating. Now, put your daughter in those sandals… Yikes! That’s hard to imagine, isn’t it? We would be swooping in to help, rescue, comfort and mediate each of those hardships, wouldn’t we? Yet, that would have interfered with God’s plan.
Ruth’s story is extraordinary and she is such an example of grace, faith, and beauty. Friends, we need to realize, those qualities were groomed in her by God at a great price. Those four chapters in the book of Ruth reveal years of endurance, learning, leaning and obedience.
We have a tendency to hit the ‘highlights’ when we read about these pillars of the faith… we see the 10,000 foot view. If we hold our sons and daughters up against these examples, expecting to see rich, abundant fruit, quickly, we create unrealistic expectations. Be like Ruth! Be like Joshua!” But we sometimes lose sight of the hardships and the years of struggle, pain and opposition that those ‘greats’ had to endure to become the leaders and examples they are to us. We need to temper our expectations and, instead of pressuring our sons and daughters, we need to pray for them.
Then there’s the danger of casually overlooking the mentors God placed in the lives of these ‘greats’ to help grow them and prepare them.
Joshua had Moses… a lifetime of Moses… and it wasn’t until Joshua was at least 85 years old and Moses died that Joshua began to lead Israel. That’s a long time. It’s very possible that Joshua’s parents didn’t see him become “Joshua” at all.
Ruth had Naomi. A broken, bitter woman who we might dismiss as not having a strong enough faith to impact the next generation- yet she did. And she was an ancestor of Jesus- that’s how He used her…and He continues to use her story and her example. Would we have encouraged our Ruth to stick closer to home and find a more pleasant and positive mentor?
Friends, let’s pray that God does grow our sons and daughters into strong men and women of faith, willing to be bold, to be used by Him and to obey in whatever way He asks. But let’s pray for our parent-hearts, too, so that we don’t place ungodly expectations on our sons and daughters to become something or someone before their God-approved time and in ways that circumvent His plan. Our sons and daughters may have to face famine, hardship, loss, pain, danger, and enemies. But God will use each of those things to teach them, stretch them and prepare them for what He is calling them to do. We may not have to wait until they’re 85 to see the fruit of bold faith, but, yes, we will wait, we must wait, and while we wait, we need to pray and allow God to work as He wills, not as we ‘expect’.
Today, let’s pray Psalm 90:17 and pray with conviction “May the favor of the Lord our God rest on (our sons and daughters); establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.”
What God establishes is not easily torn down. Isn’t that the hope and prayer we should embrace? Today, let’s pray with Godly expectation, not our own, and wait with realistic understanding that God works in His time to bring to fruition that which He planned long before we were ever born.
Pray without ceasing, friends.